'Portraits of Perseverance' is an on-going multimedia community project that follows the lives of Malaysian women who persevere in the face of chronic illnesses, disabilities and transgender discrimination. It consists of blogs, video journals and TV documentaries. The first project (2011 to 2012) tells the stories of Lucy, Nisha, Pong and Sulastri. The second project in 2013 brings you Pong’s rehabilitation journey.
Recently the Czech ambassador (Jan Fury) showed up at my house asking for a copy
of the Akar Umbi CD.
I had told him there are only 20+ copies left - and they
are all with Rafique. So I burned him a copy and also gave him Marina Roseman's
CD, Dream Songs of the Malaysian Rainforest, since he's so keen to get
his hands on it. That made me realize there are many who really enjoy
off-the-beaten-track music, especially if it's aboriginal stuff.
Since
June 2009 I have had 7 Akar Umbi tracks on SoundClick.com (downloadable for 75
cents a track) - but there appears to be have been no downloads so far, so I
made all the tracks downloadable for free.
Later I realized that SoundClick
compresses their music files to low-grade mp3 (128 bits or less!) - whereas
BandCamp.com allows high-grade downloads (320-bit mp3 or flac) which is almost
as good as wav or cda quality (original CD encoding).
I only discovered BandCamp
a few days ago, thanks to a German DJ & audio wizard who stayed with me for
a week and helped remaster some ancient tracks.
Well, I realized BandCamp
was a much better platform to keep Akar Umbi and Mak Minah's songs online -
people can listen for free and also download by paying a small fee.
That's how
it should be - those who want to possess the tracks can easily afford a few
bucks, while everybody else can still access the music at the best possible
quality.
Also, BandCamp allows me to include detailed program notes for each
track - so a complete album download also comes with all the notes and images.
This makes it unnecessary to ever consider reissuing the album as a CD - too
much trouble to replicate in small quantities - and too difficult to distribute
globally.
Digital albums make perfect sense to me, because binary codes are
weightless. (A few years ago Universal Music actually expressed an interest in
repackaging and distributing Songs of the Dragon - at first regionally,
then perhaps globally - but the recording industry went into a slump and they
simply dropped the idea.)
So on 7 September 2012, one week before Minah
Angong's 82nd birthday, Akar Umbi has found a permanent home (I hope) in
cyberspace!
It doesn't matter much to me whether most folks opt to just listen -
if even a handful decide to download, I might earn a few extra bucks over the
years, to cover my internet bills.
Amazingly, Mak Minah is worth money
even after her death. Last year, Solaris Publika embarked on a "TextWalk"
project, inscribing short quotes from 60 Malaysian writers & poets in
cement.
I was asked to contribute a couple - then they wanted something from
Orang Asli folklore, so I let them use a few lines from "Kuda Lari" and they
eventually paid me RM500 for that, which I handed to Semboh, Mak Minah's
favorite granddaughter, who was so delighted.
I rummaged
through the piles of plastic that came with the large stock of eco-baskets which the weavers just brought to the office.
I grabbed a hand-woven piece and read its serial number out loud to Lucy so that she could note down the stock.
It wasn’t easy when there was so much information on the label. Lucy bobbed her head up. Adjusting her glasses, she looked at the basket I was struggling with.
“Is that a ‘Pinnochio Shoe’?” She suddenly said, referring to the unique piece I held
in my hands.
“Err,
yeah.”I replied.
Nodding,
she recited the whole serial number to me, that bought me time to
catch up with her on the next few items. She was one fast middle-aged lady!
And a one-woman show for the eco-basket project!
Aww, I'm smiling already!
Lucy’s
commitment to volunteer work with the eco-basket project at eHomemakers and the Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE) Association (not to mention her duties as a wife and mother) – sees her traveling
back and forth between Kajang and Kuala Lumpur / Petaling Jaya (that would be about two hours, one-way. Four hours, daily, goodness!), rushing to catch the next bus or a train, walking to offices from public transport stations, running
errands and making preparations for events or coordinating other volunteers.
Although it is
so easy for a busy woman like Lucy to get cranky from exhaustion, or maybe even
big-headed for being so indispensable, she doesn’t behave this way at all. She just does her tasks,
smiles at young interns like me who make mistakes in front of her, and excitedly tells you stories from her past (and maybe
offer you salt-sprinkled oranges for lunch).
Lucy
wasn’t always the chirpy, passionate, confident, 'go-get-em' kind of person she
is today.
The woman speaking to crowds at SLE events and eco-basket exhibitions, the woman confidently
delivering her story in the 'Portraits of Perseverance' documentary, the woman
dedicated to volunteer work that she’s passionate about – a few years ago, that
woman was in a shell, shy and passive.
The turning point in Lucy's life happened, because of a fellow Lupus patient – her close friend, Justina Low Yew Lee.
One strong, unique lady - Justina Low.
In life,
there are just certain things that trigger some sort of change within a person.
That change could be due to a desire spark to make that change, or it could be purely involuntary. Change that
can make or break a person.
I know of a boy who was extremely sweet and bubbly as a kid. He had a very creative and colourful imagination, and he often would chatter on about things beyond his years. He had a bright, sensitive, yet confident natural instinct.
Many things about him changed ever since he entered primary school.
Due to his upbringing in an English-speaking home, he found it difficult to learn Chinese language. His Chinese language teacher would pick on his Chinese language homework, telling the whole class how he had ugly handwriting and that he was not as "smart" as the rest.
I don't know if the teacher did what she did intentionally, but the impact on her students was made. Many of his classmates repeated the teacher's insults on him, poked fun at him, and refused to play with him. For a boy who was barely eight, the continuous bullying from both his classmates and his teacher reduced his self-confidence.
From a child who seemed to take the sunshine with him everywhere he went, who could play with action figures, make up his own clever role play scripts, and name several species of dinosaurs from the top of his head - the bullies in school made him a sullen and sheepish individual, too shy to speak up.
I'm not directing this at Chinese school teachers, because I have had the privilege of having strict but loving and tactful ones. The teachers he had obviously weren't meant to be teachers.
Although the story has a happy ending (he grew up to be a successful individual, with a sense of humour), it's sad how some events in our life can change a person for the worse.
Lucy’s
was a different story than the boy's. Justina was chatty and adventurous. She was a very positive,
happy woman who always tried to push Lucy out of her shell and to live life to
its fullest. She was that type of person - a source of joy - wanting others to be
as happy as she was. Justina had succumbed to Lupus in 2011.
So it seems lightning does strike twice in the same place. Within three months of Justina's death, a very dear aunt of Lucy's passed on. Then, her mother-in-law - whom Lucy had been taking care of - passed away as well.
A loved
one’s death is never an easy thing to deal with, especially if it’s sudden. Having
someone close to you - laughing with you, involved in your life actively and making plans with
you one moment - and then, losing her for good in the next moment...
When you finally realize that you wouldn’t have the chance to do the things that you've been planning to do with her anymore - it would be a harsh blow to anyone.
Lucy
could’ve allowed Justina's untimely death to affect her. She could’ve stopped volunteering at
non-profit organizations. She could’ve let herself continue to mourn her loss. She could have gone into depression. She could have kept staring at door that Justina had closed. That her aunt, her mother-in-law had closed.
In many ways, Justina's passing had sparked a desire in Lucy to change her way of life. Lucy could hear Justina telling her, "Go do it, don't be afraid!"
Remembering her friend's wisdom about life, Lucy started to make changes to hers. She began to
step out, speak up, explore, travel and meet new people – things Justina had
wanted for her quiet, shy friend.
This new perspective of life saw her traveling on a boat in
Cambodia with the documentary team, making new friends at an international conference, speaking at SLE events, learning to be a group leader in the eco-basket project, telling her story to the world through the "Portraits of Perseverance" documentary, befriending other strong women figures, and impacting more lives through her passion for
volunteer work.
Lucy - with some of the eco baskets - flashing a winning smile.
Justina’s
death propelled Lucy to try and do things that she never would have had the
confidence or drive to do otherwise. And because Lucy begin to have that drive, she has accomplished so much a year after Justina left her! Watching her handlng her work with leadership and independence, speaking confidently and brightly, I find it hard to imagine that she used to be a benchwarmer, a passive player who was afraid to step up to opportunities given to her.
“Life is
so short,” has become Lucy’s new life motto.
"Life is what we make of it, you can either do nothing or you can do as many things as you can every day!" She told us young interns who were (okay, maybe some of us still are) trying to figure out what our lives are all about.
Justina strutting some marketing skills! (Photo credits to The Advocacy Project)
I did not
know Justina personally. But I can see part of who she was live on through the
way Lucy lives her life now. Lucy now steps up without shying away from new people or situations, she has overcome her comfort zone. As she is doing all these, she has become even more of an inspiration for others to do the same. All I
can say is, Justina must have been quite a person to be able to leave such a
great impact and mark on Lucy’s life.
Photography by Wang Junmey
There will come a time where we will be faced with news or events that might threaten to take away something that is dear to us - our confidence, comfort or people we love. That's where we have to choose between curling up in a sad ball and refusing to move on, or to address the issue, solve it and keep walking.
We're only human. Experiences can bring us down.
As cliché as this
may sound, what I've learned from Lucy these few months is, it’s alright to fall, it’s alright if you don’t handle these hard
times perfectly and it’s alright to be brought down, as long as you find a way to get back on your feet and overcome adversity. Don't let it drag you down and change your positive outlook of life.
While
you do what you choose to do, just remember that, what Lucy says is so true - lifereally is so short.
We only have so many days. So, live.
Just live,
test your waters, make mistakes, learn from them, climb high and get back up
when you fall, love yourself and love others without fear.
Beyond the
obstacles that dominate our sight, are stars to be reached.