Sunday, 10 July 2011

My Dream is Written Here

It is July 10, 2011.


A momentous day, unreported by any news agency about its importance, but nevertheless, a very historic day in the cyber world. Millions of Malaysians, overseas or residing right in Malaysia are buzy surfing the Net about July 9th’s Bersih demonstration in KL. Thousands of those who attended yesterday’s rally are buzy uploading and adding tags to their pictures and writing to friends.  My email and Facebook are full of messages about what happened yesterday at the city center.
The work tasks I planned for today were shelved. I ended up looking at pictures, videos and comments in FB. Having several hours by myself surfing the Net is doing good to my writing mood.  The silent reading takes away writing inertia, and it inspires me to continue to write this project blog.

Although I have written only two blogs after more than three years of ‘rest’, it feels good to write without having to worry about censorship! Of course, I am not going to write anything I am not supposed to write and get this project shut down.  But to know that I can even write the last sentence and get it published is a real taste of FREEDOM!
I learnt to write this character when I was eight.
Later on in life, I hardly ever wrote this character out and I hardly dared to speak about my own dream.
Until now.

Perhaps I have developed too much fear from writing a column in  a newspaper. Fear of the ISA. Fear of people with powers to decide my life. Fears of people with power to destroy my dreams.

“If you write your dreams down, you will achieve them,” a friend who is a
 firm believer in energy told me.  “If you write your fears down and burn the paper, the fears will go away.”
So here they are, my dreams, written down clearly, first time in my life :

  • An image of me with a group of friends laughing, enjoying great foods and wines.  The background is a beautiful landscape with trees, flowers, rivers, mountains. I have no worries about my responsibility. Everything I am supposed to be in-charged of is well taken care of.
           *      I will retire from actively running eHomemakers in nine years’ time, and I am going
                   to go into documentary-making and script-writing. I want to enjoy my life with content
                   creation that has social impact and use it to make changes.

Krishen Jit's dream was to help people realize
their dreams.

My fears -- I listed down ten and I am going to burn the paper tonight.

“Krishen Jit’s dream is to grow your dream,” Marion d'Cruz of the Five Arts Center said to me at the press conference last November.                                                                            

Finally, I am seeing light at the end of the tunnel.
How about the five women I am portraying in this project?
What kinds of fears face then? What kinds of dreams do they have?   

 I shall find out.

And I am going to write, with my dreams looking over the keyboard.


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