"Life is So Short" She Said

I rummaged through the piles of plastic that came with the large stock of eco-baskets which the weavers just brought to the office.

I grabbed a hand-woven piece and read its serial number out loud to Lucy so that she could note down the stock. It wasn’t easy when there was so much information on the label. Lucy bobbed her head up. Adjusting her glasses, she looked at the basket I was struggling with.

“Is that a ‘Pinnochio Shoe’?” She suddenly said, referring to the unique piece I held in my hands.
 

“Err, yeah.”I replied.

Nodding, she recited the whole serial number to me, that bought me time to catch up with her on the next few items. She was one fast middle-aged lady!

And a one-woman show for the eco-basket project!

 

Aww, I'm smiling already!

Lucy’s commitment to volunteer work with the eco-basket project at eHomemakers and the Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE) Association (not to mention her duties as a wife and mother) – sees her traveling back and forth between Kajang and Kuala Lumpur / Petaling Jaya (that would be about two hours, one-way. Four hours, daily, goodness!), rushing to catch the next bus or a train, walking to offices from public transport stations, running errands and making preparations for events or coordinating other volunteers. 

Although it is so easy for a busy woman like Lucy to get cranky from exhaustion, or maybe even big-headed for being so indispensable, she doesn’t behave this way at all. She just does her tasks, smiles at young interns like me who make mistakes in front of her, and excitedly tells you stories from her past (and maybe offer you salt-sprinkled oranges for lunch).

Lucy wasn’t always the chirpy, passionate, confident, 'go-get-em' kind of person she is today.

The woman speaking to crowds at SLE events and eco-basket exhibitions, the woman confidently delivering her story in the 'Portraits of Perseverance' documentary, the woman dedicated to volunteer work that she’s passionate about – a few years ago, that woman was in a shell, shy and passive.

The turning point in Lucy's life happened, because of a fellow Lupus patient – her close friend, Justina Low Yew Lee.

 

One strong, unique lady - Justina Low.

In life, there are just certain things that trigger some sort of change within a person. That change could be due to a desire spark to make that change, or it could be purely involuntary. Change that can make or break a person.

I know of a boy who was extremely sweet and bubbly as a kid. He had a very creative and colourful imagination, and he often would chatter on about things beyond his years. He had a bright, sensitive, yet confident natural instinct.

Many things about him changed ever since he entered primary school.

Due to his upbringing in an English-speaking home, he found it difficult to learn Chinese language. His Chinese language teacher would pick on his Chinese language homework, telling the whole class how he had ugly handwriting and that he was not as "smart" as the rest.

I don't know if the teacher did what she did intentionally, but the impact on her students was made. Many of his classmates repeated the teacher's insults on him, poked fun at him, and refused to play with him. For a boy who was barely eight, the continuous bullying from both his classmates and his teacher reduced his self-confidence.

From a child who seemed to take the sunshine with him everywhere he went, who could play with action figures, make up his own clever role play scripts, and name several species of dinosaurs from the top of his head - the bullies in school made him a sullen and sheepish individual, too shy to speak up.

I'm not directing this at Chinese school teachers, because I have had the privilege of having strict but loving and tactful ones. The teachers he had obviously weren't meant to be teachers.

Although the story has a happy ending (he grew up to be a successful individual, with a sense of humour), it's sad how some events in our life can change a person for the worse. 

Lucy’s was a different story than the boy's. Justina was chatty and adventurous. She was a very positive, happy woman who always tried to push Lucy out of her shell and to live life to its fullest. She was that type of person - a source of joy - wanting others to be as happy as she was. Justina had succumbed to Lupus in 2011.

Lucy and Maria Skouras (Photo credits to The Advocacy Project) 

So it seems lightning does strike twice in the same place. Within three months of Justina's death, a very dear aunt of Lucy's passed on. Then, her mother-in-law - whom Lucy had been taking care of - passed away as well.

A loved one’s death is never an easy thing to deal with, especially if it’s sudden. Having someone close to you - laughing with you, involved in your life actively and making plans with you one moment - and then, losing her for good in the next moment... 

When you finally realize that you wouldn’t have the chance to do the things that you've been planning to do with her anymore - it would be a harsh blow to anyone.

Lucy could’ve allowed Justina's untimely death to affect her. She could’ve stopped volunteering at non-profit organizations. She could’ve let herself continue to mourn her loss. She could have gone into depression. She could have kept staring at door that Justina had closed. That her aunt, her mother-in-law had closed.

And her name was Justina. (Photo credits to The Advocacy Project)

But she didn’t let herself fall into that state.

In many ways, Justina's passing had sparked a desire in Lucy to change her way of life. Lucy could hear Justina telling her, "Go do it, don't be afraid!"
 

Remembering her friend's wisdom about life, Lucy started to make changes to hers. She began to step out, speak up, explore, travel and meet new people – things Justina had wanted for her quiet, shy friend.

This new perspective of life saw her traveling on a boat in Cambodia with the documentary team, making new friends at an international conference, speaking at SLE events, learning to be a group leader in the eco-basket project, telling her story to the world through the "Portraits of Perseverance" documentary, befriending other strong women figures, and impacting more lives through her passion for volunteer work.

 Lucy - with some of the eco baskets - flashing a winning smile.

 

 

Justina’s death propelled Lucy to try and do things that she never would have had the confidence or drive to do otherwise. And because Lucy begin to have that drive, she has accomplished so much a year after Justina left her! Watching her handlng her work with leadership and independence, speaking confidently and brightly, I find it hard to imagine that she used to be a benchwarmer, a passive player who was afraid to step up to opportunities given to her.

“Life is so short,” has become Lucy’s new life motto.

"Life is what we make of it, you can either do nothing or you can do as many things as you can every day!" She told us young interns who were (okay, maybe some of us still are) trying to figure out what our lives are all about.

Justina strutting some marketing skills! (Photo credits to The Advocacy Project)

I did not know Justina personally. But I can see part of who she was live on through the way Lucy lives her life now. Lucy now steps up without shying away from new people or situations, she has overcome her comfort zone. As she is doing all these, she has become even more of  an inspiration for others to do the same. All I can say is, Justina must have been quite a person to be able to leave such a great impact and mark on Lucy’s life.

 

Photography by Wang Junmey

There will come a time where we will be faced with news or events that might threaten to take away something that is dear to us - our confidence, comfort or people we love. That's where we have to choose between curling up in a sad ball and refusing to move on, or to address the issue, solve it and keep walking.

We're only human. Experiences can bring us down. 

As cliché as this may sound, what I've learned from Lucy these few months is, it’s alright to fall, it’s alright if you don’t handle these hard times perfectly and it’s alright to be brought down, as long as you find a way to get back on your feet and overcome adversity. Don't let it drag you down and change your positive outlook of life.

While you do what you choose to do, just remember that, what Lucy says is so true  - life really is so short.

We only have so many days. So, live.

 

Just live, test your waters, make mistakes, learn from them, climb high and get back up when you fall, love yourself and love others without fear.

Beyond the obstacles that dominate our sight, are stars to be reached. 

You only live once.

by Junmey

What the interns think

eHomemakers has had its fair share of interns for the 'Portraits of Perseverance'  project. Being part of the team means that we all know Morgan. At some point in our internships, we had to accompany her if she went somewhere to film the documentary (not because Morgan wanted us to or anything, Ching Ching insisted we did to protect her)  Or we learnt from her by watching her edit the documentary footage.

Now its time to write a blog on what the interns really thought about her! And since she isn't here anymore, there's really nothing she can do about what we say. *evil smile*

The impression we all have in common about Morgan is how dedicated and hard-working she was in completing her role in the documentary. When all of us were sleepy, tired and lazy... Morgan seemed to be the complete opposite. She never complained about being tired and she was always alert!  Morgan's walk was always fast-paced and full of determination while the rest of us usually had to run a little bit to keep up with her 'long Canadian legs'.

Junmey especially liked Morgan's 'go-get-em' attitude. She never gave up and there was always a plan B if plan A didn't work out. When Nisha and Sulastri were unreachable via handphone, Morgan went to PT Foundation by bus and train anyway and caught them during their lunch break.

Morgan loved to eat chocolate. But no matter how much chocolate she ate, she was good at losing it quickly. This is something we all couldn't understand. It seemed that Canadians are good in burning chocolate calories while Malaysians balloon up if we gobble chocolate the way she did.

"Can the two of you walk down to get some snacks for the office and deposit these checks?" Ching Ching asked Tzer Haw and I one afternoon. The two of us groaned.

"I'll do it!" Morgan said. "I need the exercise anyway!".

Although at that moment Tzer Haw and I were spared from the 20 minute walk, the consequences were ours to face. Both of us now have big flabby butts, while Morgan still fit into her tight jeans the day she left .

Intern Xian Ting remembers Morgan carrying her camera, Marvin, all over the Crown Plaza Hotel with ease while we were filming there. A camera like the one Morgan used was already heavy by itself, but Morgan didn't seem to care. Sometimes, she even carried the tripod as well. That was why we sometimes felt so useless around Morgan... she seemed to be able to do everything while we couldn't.

When we asked Tzer Haw what he thought about Morgan, his only reply was, "I realized girls can do a lot of things".

Well, obviously girls can do a lot of things. So after some persuasion, we got Tzer Haw to further explain what he meant, to which he replied "I used to think that what Morgan is doing is only done by men, not women. Furthermore, in a normal production, you will have one person behind the camera, one holding the lighting equipment, one interviewing and one standing around watching... But here Morgan does everything by herself. Even I can't do that".

Morgan would probably never know how big of a mark she has left on the 'Portraits of Perseverance' interns, especially the ones who just finished SPM last year. For the girl interns like Xian Ting, Junmey and myself, we learned that us as girls are capable of multi-tasking with technology, and as for the guy interns like Tzer Haw, well... I guess we can say his respect for women has definitely increased after meeting Morgan.

Cheers to you Morgan!

Love from

The Interns


Rhon.Hagedorn.

Mak Minah, Uncrowned Queen of the Temuan

In a world where old values, tradition and culture are inevitably being torn down to make way for modernization, a group of people decided to document the beautiful Temuan lullabies, forming a band that would go down in the history of Malaysia's cultural scene. That band is Akar Umbi. And at the core of the band's talents was Minah Agong. Portraits of Perseverance has gotten the permission to use three of the band's songs - songs that had grown to become the hearbeat of the old Temuan tribe and Mak Minah herself. The story of her life, and eventually her death was intertwined with natural resource usage conflicts. Who better to tell that story than Mak Minah's very own bandmate and friend. The man who paved the way for the forming of Akar Umbi: Antares. 

Yes, I am pleased to tell you my story. But as I cannot write things down, I will ask my friend to help. He is among those who knew me well in my last years on this earth. I whisper these words in his mind’s ear, for he is still in the world of the living, while I am already back in the realm of spirit, and happily so.

My bones now lie buried on top of a hill overlooking the saddest sight you can imagine. Majestic hills stripped of trees, mountains blown up to make a dam. I may be dead but my spirit lives on in my songs, and in the sacred (and now badly scarred) landscape I love so dearly.  One day my songs will be heard and they will soften the hardened hearts of the greedy ones who destroy more than they construct. When men’s hearts heal, so will the land.

"Cover of Akar Umbi CD 'Songs of the Dragon' (released August 2002)"

I was born in Pertak, Ulu Selangor, between two world wars, into the Temuan tribe. The identity card issued by the government says I arrived on September 14, 1930, and records my name at birth as Menah Anak Kuntom.  People knew me as Mak Minah because that was my stage name as lead singer with a band called Akar Umbi. Perhaps the most exciting moment of my life was when we performed before 40,000 people at the biggest stadium in Selangor. Afterwards, so many people came and congratulated me. I had a photograph taken with Sharifah Aini and Sahara Yaacob, who were also performing that night. We looked like three queens together!

Anyway, Menah or Minah makes little difference to me, since I can’t spell. Our names keep changing as we change. But once we write anything down, it becomes harder to change. Take my sister’s name: although we have the same father and mother, her name is recorded in her identity card as Indah Anak Merkol, after our  stepfather. My mother’s name was Beresih but all her children called her Mui, which is the Temuan word for Mak or Mother.

  

"Akar Umbi in 1995 rehearsing for 'Out in the Open' festival at Carcosa Seri Negara. For details click here" 

As a child I remember life was carefree and fun. Fish was abundant in the streams, and the forest supplied all our needs, except for luxuries like sugar, salt, and milled rice. Fresh meat was easily available as there were many animals that could be hunted or trapped.  We Orang Asli can eat anything, with or without legs or wings, as long as it’s not poisonous (we even know how to remove the poison from some wild plants so that they become edible). Apart from fish and wild boar, we also eat porcupines, pythons, leaf monkeys, deer, birds, and bamboo rats (whose flesh is very clean and sweet, as they feed only on bamboo shoots). These are all gifts of the Great Spirit That Dwells In Everything.

The only education I received was from my grandmother, who enjoyed telling us stories. 

She explained how human beings were seeded on Tanah Tujuh (which is what we call this physical world) by Mamak and Inak Bongsu, a brother and sister who survived the Great Flood by clinging to the top of a gaharu tree on Gunung Raja. 

My grandmother was full of wonderful tales about the beautiful elven races (Orang Halus) who left the planet for the higher heavens when the Difficult Times began. Some chose to remain, because they had grown to love the earth, but they gradually became invisible to human eyes.

"Minah Angong, Rafique Rashid & Antares (not visible in pic) perform with Anak Dayung at the first Rainforest World Music Festival in Sarawak, August 1998." 

People ask me if Orang Asli have any religion. I always reply that we don’t need religion because our God is not separate from the everyday world in which we live. The Great Spirit That Dwells In Everything takes all forms and speaks to us as the song of the wind in the bamboo grove, or as the neverending gossip of the river. Sometimes it is the distant call of a mist-covered mountain. Other times, it is as close as a sleeping child breathing gently in its mother’s ear.

During my lifetime I saw how people became blinded by ambition and greed. They began to mine the earth for metals and log the forest for wood. With each passing year the land became hotter and the rivers became dirtier, so we could no longer drink the water without boiling it first.  With each passing year we had to walk farther and farther to find some bamboo or catch some fish because people would come into the forest and take out more than they needed. And with each passing year we saw more and more wilderness cleared so that towns could be built. 

"Rafique Rashid, one of the key musicians of Akar Umbi, with the Temuan at Pertak Village."

I enjoyed going to town where many things could be bought, but to do that we had to sell durians, petai, bamboo, cane (manao) and aromatic wood (gaharu) for cash. Yet I could never imagine myself living in a town where it’s always so noisy and hot. Like all Orang Asli, I dearly love the jungle which is our natural home and hunting ground. I would rather die than be forced to live in a town.

When I was 12 the world turned upside down. Planes dropped bombs in the jungle to destroy bridges and railway tracks. We had to hide in caves on the slopes of mountains. For many years my family stayed hidden deep in the forest, for fear that we may be captured or killed by the invaders. During those war years we missed the taste of salt and sugar. We lived in the middle of the Malay Peninsula - far from the sea – and had grown accustomed to flavouring our food with salt bought from the Chinese merchants.  My mother taught me how to make cooking oil from the perah nut.

After the war life became even worse for us. The government put us all in detention camps, surrounded by barbed wire, and guarded by soldiers. They said it was to protect us from the communist guerrillas. Unused to suddenly being confined in a small space so close to town, many of our people became depressed, fell sick, and died. This is how I lost both my parents. 

"Antares playing the flute in an Akar Umbi number."

But I was already an attractive young woman with many admirers. My life stretched ahead of me like a newly laid road, and I had a taste for adventure. I found myself married to a man I hardly knew. At least he could take me away from the confines of the resettlement camp. We ran back to our beloved jungle and built a hut along the river, along with many others who could no longer bear living within a fence.

My first marriage was a tragedy. I was too young to be a dutiful mother. My children died of illness and my husband left me. For a while, I flirted with the idea of becoming a white man’s mistress. Then I met Angong who had recently become the Batin (headman) of Kampong Gerachi. He was a patient man with great wisdom. It was he who taught me the ceremonial songs passed down to him by his ancestors. Angong taught me to be proud of my noble naga (dragon) lineage. Not every family has an animal totem. Only those with some knowledge of jungle medicine (jampi) or who possess magical powers (dukun) have special allies in the animal kingdom. 

I bore Angong five children and greatly missed him when he returned to Pulau Buah, where souls go after they drop their physical bodies (which we call baju, or clothes). When my children grew up and started their own families, I moved to Kampong Pertak to live with my younger sister Indah and her husband Rasid. My elder brothers, Diap and Utat, lived nearby.  My eldest son, Ramsit, took over as Batin of Gerachi.

"Akar Umbi doing a workshop with Scottish group Shooglenifty at RWMF 1999."

It was fated that my life would begin to change in 1992. I met a few people from the big city who happened to be musicians. They heard me singing and decided to record my voice, adding musical instruments to give my traditional sawai (healing) songs a modern sound. The first song we created together was called Burung Meniyun. I was asked to sing it on stage during a performance by a famous dancer named Chandrabhanu who lived in Australia. I was surprised and touched that people in the big city would receive my humble song with such open hearts.  Never before had I sung for so many strangers in such a large hall! Chandrabhanu himself was quite a colourful character, dressed up as some kind of witch doctor with all sorts of strange objects dangling from his body. I found it exciting to meet so many new friends who were delighted to hear my ancient songs. 

It all happened so quickly. One moment I was just an Orang Asli widow gathering firewood and tapioca leaves in the forest and going fishing with my sister. Then suddenly I was on national TV singing for thousands of people in a huge stadium! I shall never forget the pleasure of hearing the loud applause and shaking hands with everybody afterwards. I felt proud to be able to please so many people with my simple songs. For once I could feel that no one was looking down on me, or ignoring me, for being an uneducated Orang Asli. 

Can you imagine how it feels to be recognized by someone in Ulu Langat who had seen my performance on TV?  When I went to the market in town, people came up to me and congratulated me on my performance. But back in Kampong Pertak, I was greeted with a mixture of wholehearted support and suspicion. Some whispered behind my back that I was soon going to be too sombong (proud) to be their friend. That really hurt my heart.

"Minah Angong, diva of the rainforest, wowed the crowd at RWMF 1998 (photo: Wayne Tarman)."

I enjoy singing for people, and my late husband taught me that these songs handed down from our ancestors carry healing power. They are medicine songs. When I sing I can feel my spirit expand like a strong wind blowing through a tree. Naik angin, we call it.  Once I start I must carry on until the wind becomes a breeze and goes quietly on its way. If I don’t let the spirit wind flow (lepas angin) I can get very sick.

My first experience of flying was when Akar Umbi performed in Sarawak at the Rainforest World Music Festival. I had such a grand time and made even more friends. I returned to Sarawak with Akar Umbi the next year, for the last time. At the party after the close of the festival, my newfound friends sang me a rousing Iban farewell. My heart was light and heavy at the same time. Perhaps I knew this was our last meeting on this earth.

Even as I felt the pleasure of being applauded, I could feel the pain of losing our past and future. The dam project would soon destroy Kampong Gerachi and its durian orchards. A man-made lake would fill the Selangor River Valley, drowning a once-beautiful forest, along with our ancestral graves. I could not imagine anyone so foolish as to declare war against the forces of nature.  Did they have no understanding of, or respect for, our deep love of the land? Were they totally unaware that destroying the land would mean the end of our livelihood and future?  We are the land. If the land dies, we die. 




"Minah Angong and Ahau, Antares' son."  

My sister Indah and brothers Diap and Utat felt the same way that I did. We cherished our traditions and would never lose our heart connection to the land, even if we were offered vast amounts of money.  The 
Temuan tribe has lived here for many thousands of years; the hills and valleys and rivers are much, much older than that. Our fruit trees can live for over a hundred years and as long as we keep planting new ones, our great-great-grandchildren will never starve. But if they destroy the wilderness and put our people in housing estates and make us work in factories, our tribe will be disappear within a generation. Our nenek-moyang (ancestors) told us: “When Orang Asli are no longer visible on this earth, the sea will rise, the sky will fall, and everything will perish.”

It all seemed hopeless. My own son, as headman, had signed an agreement with the dam builders and loggers, allowing the destruction to begin.  I tried to talk him out of it, but he silenced me, his own mother.  My sorrow ran deep.  Before it had even started the dam project had split our families apart. 

But there were thousands of voices raised against the dam, and I was glad that we had so many friends, people who knew the true value of the rainforest and fought hard to stop the destruction.  I was interviewed by many reporters and I told them how I felt about seeing our way of life being taken from us.  One reporter asked me: “Don’t you want to see your grandchildren getting a good education, which they can only get when development reaches the rural areas?” I replied: “All those who cut down the trees and make the hills bare, causing landslides and floods, aren’t they educated too? If that’s what being educated means, then we Orang Asli don’t want to be educated!” The reporter had nothing to say to that.

"Mak Minah's gravestone which was placed in the middle of an old tree near Kg Gerachi. The tree had been struck by lightning but somehow survived. Sadly, her firstborn the Batin of Gerachi subsequently chopped down the tree, haunted perhaps by the memory of his mother who had been vehementy opposed to the dam project. The gravestone has since disappeared."

In a way, I’m glad I didn’t live to see the bulldozers and excavators arrive. Three weeks after I performed in Sarawak, I fell ill and surrendered my body to the earth.

It has become part of the sacred landscape of my ancestors. But my spirit is reunited at last with the Great Spirit That Dwells In Everything and I am happy.

© Antares (Kit Leee) 2002

ANTARES

MAGICK RIVER
44000 KUALA KUBU BARU

MALAYSIA

Mobile: +60102007346

Email: magickriver@gmail.com

Website: http://www.magickriver.net

Missing Canada!

 

"Thank you for believing in me, for taking care of me, for giving me this opportunity.......As I leave now, looking back, I know it was meant to be.  God brought me here for a reason.  ............Malaysia is beautiful, the people, tjeir smiles, their hospitality, their warmth, that is what I am taking home with me.......I feel like I am taking home some of this 'warmth' with me..........I've changed during my time here,,,,I am so happy that I have. I was looking for something and i found it in the comfort of these walls and these strange streets. It felt like home to me...because of you."

As I read Morgan Reed's farewell card to me, I got all emotional. I called the taxi driver, Mr Gill, who was taking Morgan to the airport. "Can I talk to Morgan?" I begged.

"She just left your house less than an hour ago and you already miss her? How are you going to live in the next few days?" Mr Gill laughed.  He has been the eHomemakers city guide cum body guard for female foreign interns.

Farewell dinner with intern Tzer Haw's family.

Morgan came to the phone, I was so touched by what she wrote that I didn't know how to put my feelings into words, "Hey you, your cards is making Rhon cry. She is sniffing and tearing now. I am about to follow her too...."

"Ohhhhhhhh," she said. "I will miss you guys too!"

That was how we said our last goodbye.

Morgan at a steam boat buffet, and then being treated with a rainbow cake!

I've dealt with 20 foreign interns or young volunteers for eHomemakers in the last seven years. Some  left imprints in eHomemakers while some leave unsavory memories. None has left such deep footprints in my life like Morgan has done. The documentary we were working on required both of us to discuss issues from different perspectives.  Her homestaying with me also meant that we were closely in touch with each other, day and night! This could bring out the worst in our relationship if we couldn't stand each other! 


But in our case, it helped us to reach out to each other,in very human way.





Her cheerfulnees, energetic body, limitless enthusiasm, commitment and the 'can-do' attitude reminded me of the many peopole I met while I was a student in U of Saskatchewan in Saskatoon, Canada.   I have fond memories of people in Saskatchewan  --- their genuine friendliness, and their kindness to a foreigner without strings attached.

Barbara Block visiting KL in December 2011. 

City families like the Blocks adopted me as if I were one of their daughters. I made Malaysian dinners for them and got to eat things I couldn't afford. The whole Block family sent me off at the Greyhound bus station when I left for Vermont to do my master's. Mother Block made me sandwiches, put oranges,apples and canned drinks into two brown lunch bags for me. As the bus left the station, the scene of all the Blocks waving their hands at me etched in my memory. 

Kodak moment in my mind. 






Now when Babara Block, their daughter who lives in India, visits me, I make sure she got her delicious pork dishes, dim sum and anything she can't get in India ! The Canadian kindness they gave me when I was a lone poor student can't be repaid with all the meals I can give to Barbara!

Then there was the LaBar Family whose farm in Birsay was my playground. I went there many times to milk cows, picked blueberries and raspberries, sat on the combine when it was harvesting wheat, and yelled at the top of my lungs while riding pillon on a motobike which was flying off the rolling hills.  I used to help Mother LaBar made butter from fresh milk, and head cheese from cows they just slaughtered.
Kodak moment in my mind.

And there was my Agro big sister Irene whose family taught me to roast turkey and made Christmas cookies.  A picture of me holding a big fat turkey was their family's favorite picture for many years.
Kodak moment in my mind. 

Although I was a poor student, these Canadian familiues showed me their best hospitality, feeding me, taking me to the lakes and Banff for camps, driving me to see the Northern lights and teaching me to hunt moose. And when they could, they tried to made me drink beers and milk like they did ( except the Block family..)  And there was so much joy and laughter. Those years were the best carefree years of my life!

I haven't been back to Saskatchewan since I left almost 27 years ago, it seemed like yesterday when I was there learning how to x-country ski so that I could get to the university on time because it was faster for me to to ski than to sink into deep snow that almost reached my knee...........

Morgan told me that Saskatoon is now a cosmopolitan city, it is much bigger than the time when I was there.  Things have changed in Saskatoon and much of Saskatchewan. 

Morgan's bright smile is what endeared others to her. 

Except for the Blocks, I have lost touch with the other famiilies who adopted me. I wish I have the opportunity to see them and find out what has happened to them all these years.

Morgan having BBQ lamb at a luk luk stand in TTDI. 

Image of Morgan carrying the camera on her backpack with the tripod perched on her shoulder will be another Kodak moment in my mind.

She was just like like the first strong Canadian woman I saw when the Air Italia plane I was in landed in a bad snow storm at the Toronto airport in January 1980.  She was the lone woman who directed the plane with two luminant beacons, and then she moved a ladder-like trolley to another plane on her own, walked up and scraped  ice from the window, her long blond hair laid neatly at the back of her neck in a French braid.  Beautiful.                                                                                 Kodak moment in my mind. 

Coming from a country where the state owned utility company sent six men to fix a broken street lamp and taking an hour to do so with a lot of shouting and talking, the woman on the snow covered pavement left a big fooitprint in my mind with her bravery.  She was 'unusual' and fascinating to me because she was in men's work domain and she could multi-task effortlessly.  

Now years later, I am seeing a 27 year old young Canadian lady doing the same thing-  carrying heavy equipment on her own and doing professional work without any assistance. Morgan's genorosity -- buying the HD camera when we couldn't get any sponsorship of such a camera and her arguing with me in my kitchen about why she should pay for her share in the Cambodian trip instead of me paying for her  -- is stlill fresh in my memory. 

The people in Saskatchewan were so very genuine then, and I am still seeing it now in the form of Morgan.

Morgan trying chicken feet, still smiling. 

Now that I think about it, this is what I miss since I left Canada. Life has led me to many countries, meeting with many people and seeing many things.  But I haven't met the kind of genuine people I used to meet as a student in Canada.

I have been living in my own country for over 17 years now.  Sometimes when people give me somethng and then ask somethng back from me, or kick up a big fuss when I ask for help from them ( which is rare and I always make sure I pay them back with restaurant meals or gifts or my personal time to do somethng back for them), I think back about the times when I was in Canada.  I miss the human warmth and the natural instinct of being kind to others.

One day I shall go back to Saskatchewan to thank Canada for giving me an opportunity for an education that changed my life, and I want to tell the families who adopted me that I have tried to be that woman in the Toronto airport in my way all these years.

Oh Canada!


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Rhon's feet after cycling in Angkor Wat. Morgan's Canadian feet were in worse shape, with more mud!!
Kodak moment in my mind

By CSC

A Week After Morgan Left

My hammock without Morgan. Her water
bottle is still sitting on the reclining chair.

It is Sunday,today  -- exactly seven days since Morgan Reed, our documentary film-maker and editor, left Kuala Lumpur.  My house was her homestay for four months.

And it is time to jot down a list of things which I have done since she left.

1. Cleaning and tidying up the house -- Over the last six years, I have been hosting foreign interns in my house. Often I ended up cleaning dirty rooms and bed linens after they left. Morgan left her room clean and tidy, it was a gesture that indicated her appreciation of our Malaysian hospitality.

Due to the hectic schedule of the documentary-making in the last four months, I didn't finish house improvement projects that I started last October. It was only after she left for the airport that I got into the 'house' mode again!

2. The king of fruit in Malaysia -- I was at a hypermarket looking for a DIY shelf, and 'wow', I saw durian!  The scene of Morgan rushing out of the house announcing quickly that she needed fresh air when I tried to show her a packet of durian flashed through my mind. Eh........, I should have some durian now that she is not in the house any more!

When I got home, I wolved down five slots of durian in a few minutes, I wonder why.........

(Here is Andrew Zimmerman's bizare foods episode in Penang, Malaysia, about durian http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-o_1qillkJs&feature=related)

3. Coconut juice and flesh -- When I passed by the fragrant pandan coconut stand at the hypermart, a thought flashed passed, "Morgan loves this! I should get some for her."  Then I remembered, she had left for Regina!  So I bought some for the house and told myself, "I am going to enjoy this beautiful delicious gift from the earth just like Morgan." 

My food habit has been changed by a young Canadian!

4. Morning routines -- The last six weeks before Morgan left, we walked to the office together every morning around 8.15 am and then had breakfast together.  She would then sit comfortably on the couch in the living room to edit the documentary and I would worked in the admin room upstairs.  At about 11 am, I would be down to the kitchen to make teas or cut some fruits. Then I would sing her name in a sing-song manner, "MOOOOOrGAAAANNNN, do you wAAAnt soooome?"  She would sing back, "Ooooooooh yeeees, danka!"

On Wednesday morning, I caught myself when I was about to sing, "Moor.." while I was pouring home-made herb tea into a cup.

5. Daily chocolate -- On Friday, I was passing by the KLCC shopping area to the Crowne Plaza Hotel for a meeting, and there was a chocolate stand. The normal me never bothered to stop by because I am not a chocolate fan. This time, I actually stoped and examined the chocolate tidbits,  and even tried a few samples. My mind kept asking, "I wonder if Morgan would like this..........."   And when I saw durian cake with chocolate frosting, I almost bought a slice, but I held back, "Who is going to eat it now that Morgan is not here?"

6. My favorite spicy noodle soups -- I made curry laksa for dinner tonight. It was spicy. Morgan would choke sampling it.  I chuckled as I sprinkled chilli powder to make the lightning strikes in the mouth.  I heard her choking on a spoon of laksa soup, her cheeks very red.......... and her voice cracked, "It.....is ......verrrrry deee (cough cough cough) liceeeee(cough) ous, (cough).

'Ha, ha', I laughed, "That Canadian!"

 7.  Chilling out at night -- I put the mohito and tequila bottles away, it is no fun without anyone to cheer to. And I have been a 'bad girl', I watched four episodes of CSI on Monday and Tuesday...... because the disciplinarian was gone!

Those six weeks while Morgan was editing was a period of calm for me. The documentary was filmed and everythig was in Morgan's hands for editing.  We worked 8-10 hours a day, and then we had dinner together, took an hour's break for shower and Morgan to skype her sweet heart, then around 10.30pm, we would have a shot of Mexican fun before we watched two episodes of CSI.  Morgan would stand up from her reclining posture on the marble floor and said, "Ok, it is time to go to bed," and she would do her 'Morgan stretch' (which you can see in a scene in the last part of the documentary  -- me stretching my side torso while my arms stretched to the right and to the left while walking in the park). And we all went to bed because CTV Canada had said so!

8. The ballerina stretching exercise -- Me doing the Morgan stretch in the office whenever I am stiff -- a legacy left by Morgan.

9. Tourist spots -- I passed by China Town on Friday night on my way home from a 
meeting, "Oophs, I didn't have time to take Morgan here....."

Morgan having BBQ lamb at a luk luk van in TTDI.

As I browsed through the various food stalls, I screamed excitedly to myself, "Wow, Morgan would try this intestine stuff.... I think she will put this in her mouth......oh, she will like this preserved octupus......." 

Since it was a night without Morgan, I decided to play tourist and boarded the U88 bus that would go through Brickfileds, the Indian area. As the bus cruised through Indian open air night stalls, temples, churches, and old buildings, I said to myself, "Morgan would love walking around this area at night! It is full of stories for a film-maker!"

10. Night food stands by the roadside -- Last night I walked passed the area where our favorite luk luk ( a mobile truck with sea foods, meats, vegetables on skewers and you dip them into boiling soup to cook the foods before you eat them with a choice of five kind of sauces) van was. Several people were standing around the van while another two were sitting on stools by the roadside. I stood there watching, frozen in a time not long ago.

"Didn't the Canadian TV anchor almost made me teary when she sat on the stool by the roadside?"  A TV anchor who humbled herself to eat street foods by a drain....ignoring passing cars and stares.........that is precious!

The list has 10 points and it isn't finished yet.

I guess I am missing MOORRGAANNNNN!



By CSC

Teaser of POP

The teaser of POP is out!

 "I feel they have gone through a lot in life and I can't wait to know about their stories".  - A viewer commented on the teaser. 

I have not seen these ladies in person.  All I did is "meet" them through editing their individual videos.  Yet everytime, they never fail to teach me to be strong in life.  "Life can be tough but nothing can bring a tough person down" this is what I feel about these ladies.  Warriors, they are. 

The teaser is simple but it does not fail to portray the determination and courage of these ladies.  It touches your heart and teases you wanting to know more about them.  They have a story to be told and they are ready to share it with the world.   

POP's teaser is out make sure you watch and support it!

By Tracey Choo

Happiness: It Continues to Be the Only Way

Previously I had written about Pong while she was still in the hospital receiving treatment for her Leukemia. During that same period of time, within a year, she had lost both her mother and her brother. I had also mentioned my own personal struggle to find happiness, despite the fact that I have so much more than Pong. Recently I have seen a video of Pong within her home talking about the issues facing the disabled and how she has been able to persevere through this troubling year. Despite the many troubles she faces, happiness continues to be the main fuel of her life.

In the Chinese zodiac calendar, this coming year will be the year of the Dragon. The Dragon is not only a mythical beast, but a powerful one as well. I am not sure exactly what Pong's zodiac animal is, but her choice to be happy represents the dragon in many ways. Like the dragon, happiness at times can be very elusive and even somewhat mythical or non-existant. However, if you are able to attain the spirit of the dragon, or the true spirit of happiness, your life can be filled with security and can extend of an indefinite period of time. Furthermore, the dragon is not the type of animal to be thwarted by just any type of obstacle, much like Pong is with her unfortunate losses and her physical health. Pong has already proven herself this year as a true woman of character and strength, but with her strength and her choices, the year of the dragon I am sure will be her year.

In my previous post, I had also reflected upon the question of how happiness can be so elusive to those who may have it the easiest. For example, Pong's situation to an outsider is grave to save the least, yet she leads on and expresses herself to Ehomemakers and the youtube community with a smile and a sense of hope that cannot be discouraged by outside forces. Yet, those with all of the opportunity, items, and relationships in the world can be so unhappy. Pong has proven that adversity and suffering, while definitely prohibitive and negative and nature, can also serve to inspire the self and others. Happiness is not something that comes and goes with Pong, she chooses to live her life the way that all of us should no matter what we are given or what we lack in our personal lives.

Recounting as Empowerment

Nisha recounting her job and work

Siew Lian recounting a day in her normal life

Earlier this week a friend of mine told me about how his Jesuit High School teacher taught him about the power of recounting your day. He told me that three times a day, morning, noon, and night, he was supposed to recount what had happened to him during that succinct amount of time, what he did right, what he did wrong, what could have gone better, etc. etc. He told me this as a bit of advice since I had asked him how he deals with daily pressures and disappointments.

As I watch both Nisha Ayub and Chee Siew Lian explain their daily routines and their thoughts for the day, I am reminded of this practice. What is it about recounting our daily lives or counting our blessings that centers individuals so much? The answer may seem obvious for some, but obvious does not necessarily mean simple. I think that forcing ourselves to sit down and/or stand back and recount our daily lives within our own words, thoughts, and feelings allows us to not only to see what matters the most to ourselves, but also reveal to others our true selves. This is definitely not a simple feat. Today's society is only growing faster, bigger, and more complex making it harder at times to truly recount who we are as individuals.

By viewing Nisha and Siew Lian's videos, I can see who they are apart from their struggles. Lupus may be a part of Siew Lian's life and Nisha may be transsexual, however as I witness both women recount their daily routines, their daily struggles, and their daily work I see two very unique women who have not let their challenges define who they are as human beings. While I may not have Lupus, I can relate to being a victim/addict of multitasking. While I may not be transsexual, I can laugh and relate to Nisha's "fussiness when it comes to cleanliness". Recounting ourselves within the contexts of our daily routines, our likes and dislikes, our family members and loved ones, etc. etc. is not only a form of self-empowerment, it is a form of expression that allows others to see ourselves not only for our strengths and weaknesses or struggles, but also for our innate human qualities.

I believe that this especially important in terms of applying a face to very human struggles such as disease or gender identity bias. Because Siew Lian and Nisha had the courage to express themselves on youtube, they have contributed to a better understanding of individual courage as well as what it takes to be human in the face of extreme obstacles.

Along came Morgan

The house was only occupied by my mom and I before Morgan came along.

I was so exited when I heard the news that Morgan-from-Canada-is-coming-the-one-who-will-save-our-lives-by-editing-and-filimg-the-Portraits-Of-Perseverance-documentary-for-four-months. The best part was she would be staying with my mom and I in our house. As I cleaned her room, I compiled a whole list of places to take her during her stay here.

That fateful day in November, Morgan came. My first impression of her was somewhat like this picture. Her eyes especially gave off some sort of piercing look. I couldn't blame her for looking glum. I would most probably look the same way if I were to land in a foreign country. Although my mom and I were a legit home stay, looks can definitely be deceiving... we could have eaten her alive.

I was surprised by how productive Morgan was on her first week. She didn't show any signs of jet-lag, she slept earlier than I did, and woke up (much) earlier than I ever did every single day.

As the days went by, I began to like Morgan a lot. Growing up as the only child, I always wished I had an older sibling to look up to. Morgan has definitely played that role well, even though she has only been here for a short period of time.

Since graduating from secondary school last year, I felt like I was at a big crossroad in my life - from lots of friends in school to not seeing them at all for weeks; from tons of laughter to almost not talking all day long.
Thanks to Morgan, I had someone to talk to about what I was facing. She made me realize that I'm not the only one facing something like this, because she had felt the same way too when she graduated high school... and it is all part of life.

It was also because of Morgan that I decided to buy some new blouses while shopping with my friend. Even though Morgan claims she didn't bring many things to wear here, she always looks nice no matter what she wears. Her clothes are suitable no matter what event she's attending. From wearing a uniform everyday for the past 11 years to now having to look decent while working in an office, I was at a loss about how I should look proper and professional. Observing Morgan's closet of (always decent) clothes, I decided I should use her as an example.

My mom was surprised by my choice of clothes. "They all look like something Morgan would wear!!" she exclaimed. "Yup," I said. "That's the whole point".

In my states of panic on what to wear for fancy occasions, Morgan is always a room away to help -  whether its choosing the right dress, hairpiece or necklace. She always helps me, and I'm forever thankful to her for that.

Some people say we look alike. 

Morgan also opened my eyes to a whole new set of career choices. Since I was 7 years old, I wanted to work for the animation studio, Pixar because I was fascinated by how they made toys come to life, I couldn't do that!

By the age of 13, Pixar fascinated me by the way they captured the emotions of audiences of all ages. But after 10 years of having that dream, I decided that working for Pixar wasn't right for me. I couldn't sit in one position the whole day drawing characters. It was a hard decision - thinking that you had your life all planned out from such a young age, to growing up and knowing you'll never be happy doing that and giving up on that dream altogether. Good thing I didn't take up designing as a college course!

Thanks to Morgan, I now see TV journalism as a career that I might enjoy a lot. Before Morgan came into my life, I thought that news stations only consisted of cameramen and reporters. Now I know there is more than what meets the eye. Besides being a news anchor, Morgan also decides what goes on the news. The kicker is that she can do everything herself without any assistance! She gets the information, contacts the interviewees, interviews while filming the whole episode, edits the footage and submits it to the station. Talk about a hard working lady!

It is Morgan's last few days in Malaysia now. I'm not looking forward to the day she leaves, but we can't keep her here forever. Although I may never see her again for years to come, she's definitely made a big difference in my life. I really thank God for sending me a big sister when I needed one the most.