"Life is So Short" She Said

I rummaged through the piles of plastic that came with the large stock of eco-baskets which the weavers just brought to the office.

I grabbed a hand-woven piece and read its serial number out loud to Lucy so that she could note down the stock. It wasn’t easy when there was so much information on the label. Lucy bobbed her head up. Adjusting her glasses, she looked at the basket I was struggling with.

“Is that a ‘Pinnochio Shoe’?” She suddenly said, referring to the unique piece I held in my hands.
 

“Err, yeah.”I replied.

Nodding, she recited the whole serial number to me, that bought me time to catch up with her on the next few items. She was one fast middle-aged lady!

And a one-woman show for the eco-basket project!

 

Aww, I'm smiling already!

Lucy’s commitment to volunteer work with the eco-basket project at eHomemakers and the Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE) Association (not to mention her duties as a wife and mother) – sees her traveling back and forth between Kajang and Kuala Lumpur / Petaling Jaya (that would be about two hours, one-way. Four hours, daily, goodness!), rushing to catch the next bus or a train, walking to offices from public transport stations, running errands and making preparations for events or coordinating other volunteers. 

Although it is so easy for a busy woman like Lucy to get cranky from exhaustion, or maybe even big-headed for being so indispensable, she doesn’t behave this way at all. She just does her tasks, smiles at young interns like me who make mistakes in front of her, and excitedly tells you stories from her past (and maybe offer you salt-sprinkled oranges for lunch).

Lucy wasn’t always the chirpy, passionate, confident, 'go-get-em' kind of person she is today.

The woman speaking to crowds at SLE events and eco-basket exhibitions, the woman confidently delivering her story in the 'Portraits of Perseverance' documentary, the woman dedicated to volunteer work that she’s passionate about – a few years ago, that woman was in a shell, shy and passive.

The turning point in Lucy's life happened, because of a fellow Lupus patient – her close friend, Justina Low Yew Lee.

 

One strong, unique lady - Justina Low.

In life, there are just certain things that trigger some sort of change within a person. That change could be due to a desire spark to make that change, or it could be purely involuntary. Change that can make or break a person.

I know of a boy who was extremely sweet and bubbly as a kid. He had a very creative and colourful imagination, and he often would chatter on about things beyond his years. He had a bright, sensitive, yet confident natural instinct.

Many things about him changed ever since he entered primary school.

Due to his upbringing in an English-speaking home, he found it difficult to learn Chinese language. His Chinese language teacher would pick on his Chinese language homework, telling the whole class how he had ugly handwriting and that he was not as "smart" as the rest.

I don't know if the teacher did what she did intentionally, but the impact on her students was made. Many of his classmates repeated the teacher's insults on him, poked fun at him, and refused to play with him. For a boy who was barely eight, the continuous bullying from both his classmates and his teacher reduced his self-confidence.

From a child who seemed to take the sunshine with him everywhere he went, who could play with action figures, make up his own clever role play scripts, and name several species of dinosaurs from the top of his head - the bullies in school made him a sullen and sheepish individual, too shy to speak up.

I'm not directing this at Chinese school teachers, because I have had the privilege of having strict but loving and tactful ones. The teachers he had obviously weren't meant to be teachers.

Although the story has a happy ending (he grew up to be a successful individual, with a sense of humour), it's sad how some events in our life can change a person for the worse. 

Lucy’s was a different story than the boy's. Justina was chatty and adventurous. She was a very positive, happy woman who always tried to push Lucy out of her shell and to live life to its fullest. She was that type of person - a source of joy - wanting others to be as happy as she was. Justina had succumbed to Lupus in 2011.

Lucy and Maria Skouras (Photo credits to The Advocacy Project) 

So it seems lightning does strike twice in the same place. Within three months of Justina's death, a very dear aunt of Lucy's passed on. Then, her mother-in-law - whom Lucy had been taking care of - passed away as well.

A loved one’s death is never an easy thing to deal with, especially if it’s sudden. Having someone close to you - laughing with you, involved in your life actively and making plans with you one moment - and then, losing her for good in the next moment... 

When you finally realize that you wouldn’t have the chance to do the things that you've been planning to do with her anymore - it would be a harsh blow to anyone.

Lucy could’ve allowed Justina's untimely death to affect her. She could’ve stopped volunteering at non-profit organizations. She could’ve let herself continue to mourn her loss. She could have gone into depression. She could have kept staring at door that Justina had closed. That her aunt, her mother-in-law had closed.

And her name was Justina. (Photo credits to The Advocacy Project)

But she didn’t let herself fall into that state.

In many ways, Justina's passing had sparked a desire in Lucy to change her way of life. Lucy could hear Justina telling her, "Go do it, don't be afraid!"
 

Remembering her friend's wisdom about life, Lucy started to make changes to hers. She began to step out, speak up, explore, travel and meet new people – things Justina had wanted for her quiet, shy friend.

This new perspective of life saw her traveling on a boat in Cambodia with the documentary team, making new friends at an international conference, speaking at SLE events, learning to be a group leader in the eco-basket project, telling her story to the world through the "Portraits of Perseverance" documentary, befriending other strong women figures, and impacting more lives through her passion for volunteer work.

 Lucy - with some of the eco baskets - flashing a winning smile.

 

 

Justina’s death propelled Lucy to try and do things that she never would have had the confidence or drive to do otherwise. And because Lucy begin to have that drive, she has accomplished so much a year after Justina left her! Watching her handlng her work with leadership and independence, speaking confidently and brightly, I find it hard to imagine that she used to be a benchwarmer, a passive player who was afraid to step up to opportunities given to her.

“Life is so short,” has become Lucy’s new life motto.

"Life is what we make of it, you can either do nothing or you can do as many things as you can every day!" She told us young interns who were (okay, maybe some of us still are) trying to figure out what our lives are all about.

Justina strutting some marketing skills! (Photo credits to The Advocacy Project)

I did not know Justina personally. But I can see part of who she was live on through the way Lucy lives her life now. Lucy now steps up without shying away from new people or situations, she has overcome her comfort zone. As she is doing all these, she has become even more of  an inspiration for others to do the same. All I can say is, Justina must have been quite a person to be able to leave such a great impact and mark on Lucy’s life.

 

Photography by Wang Junmey

There will come a time where we will be faced with news or events that might threaten to take away something that is dear to us - our confidence, comfort or people we love. That's where we have to choose between curling up in a sad ball and refusing to move on, or to address the issue, solve it and keep walking.

We're only human. Experiences can bring us down. 

As cliché as this may sound, what I've learned from Lucy these few months is, it’s alright to fall, it’s alright if you don’t handle these hard times perfectly and it’s alright to be brought down, as long as you find a way to get back on your feet and overcome adversity. Don't let it drag you down and change your positive outlook of life.

While you do what you choose to do, just remember that, what Lucy says is so true  - life really is so short.

We only have so many days. So, live.

 

Just live, test your waters, make mistakes, learn from them, climb high and get back up when you fall, love yourself and love others without fear.

Beyond the obstacles that dominate our sight, are stars to be reached. 

You only live once.

by Junmey

Closing the "Portraits" Chapter

eHomemakers will be releasing its documentary,"Portraits of Perseverance" (POP). Before we do, here are some teasers for your viewing pleasure. Our interns, Rhonwyn and Josh met up with three of the women in the documentary for a chat.

The production of this documentary allowed the women involved - who are of vastly different backgrounds with each of them facing unique challenges - to interact, to share and to enjoy each other's company in a way that would not have been possible otherwise. 

From the initial doubts, their thoughts about one another, to talking about the "very cool" eHomemakers intern, Morgan Reed - we've got it all here in their interviews!

Nisha of the Pink Triangle Foundation. (Still looking good in the candid screenshot)

Always confident and ready to speak, Nisha Ayub was very excited to be part of the POP documentary. A social worker of a foundation for transgenders, Nisha has seen and done many interesting things. Like the rest of the women, her experience in the world gave great insight and provided a fascinating angle to the documentary.

The scrutinizing eye of a camera may not be everybody's friend. Not only has it been accused of adding weight and highlighting fat spots, some people just do not feel comfortable being on camera, especially when being interviewed. Nisha thought it felt weird talking in front of the camera for the video journals.

Sulastri, who is also working at the Pink Triangle Foundation.

Well, she certainly wasn't alone on that, as her co-worker, Sulastri Ariffin, too had her share of issues with the camera.

Film work aside... Initially doubtful about getting on the POP bandwagon, Sulastri has come to a point where she's glad she chose to participate in POP. Going through the whole process, she now feels the need to tell her tumultous life story to the world, as well as a passion to "contribute to the community out there".

Lucy, giggling in front of the camera, as usual.

Then there's our sweet Lucy Goh (well it seems being camera-shy is a trend here!)  Lucy's candid recall of meeting Nisha: Lucy gave her a top-to-toe scan (which Nisha is used to) before she said, "Hi'.

But once they started talking during the women's meeting at Crowne Plaza, KL, Nisha realized that Lucy "is very very friendly even though she's a very quiet person." Nisha thinks that "Lucy's very intelligent too."

Just like Sulastri, Lucy has gained confidence along the way, as there were do-or-die situations where she just had to speak up! Although she still breaks out in giggles (bloopers!), the woman you see speaking to the camera talks with new-found confidence, as well as with conviction. (Filming her for this video was very fun for the intern team. Lucy kept giggling so the team also giggled, laughed and roared with laughters!)

Now that the finishing touches are being applied on the documentary and things are wrapping up, Nisha, Sulastri and Lucy look forward to moving on from this great life chapter and experience.

And when they do move on - be it to other projects, or to work with women - I believe that no matter how far they get in life, and how many lives they impact, 'Portraits of Perseverance' would always remain close to their hearts. 

by Junmey

No Need To Discriminate Me-lah.

I went up to the counter and handed the immigration officer my passport and boarding pass. He checked my boarding pass first, and then he opened my passport. His expression changed. His eyebrows cocked.

"Oh God," I said to myself. "Please don't ask that question....!"

He looked at me, and then my passport. He looked at me again, then my passport. Me. Passport. Me. Passport.

Finally he said, "You Cina ke? Cina apa?? (You're Chinese? What kind of Chinese are you??)"  Another officer came over to look at the passport. Together, they queried me with their solemn facial expression.

I sighed. Yup, that's the question I dreaded to hear. "Saya campur (I'm a mix)," I said.

"Ooooh, mix what?" they would ask.

And then I'd have to tell them, "Dutch, and Chinese."  I was aware of the line behind me, but the immigration guys didn't seem to care.  When they were satisfied with more clarifications from me -- I studied in which local school and I speak Bahasa,  they gave me back my passport and let me through.  I heard the two of them giggling behind my back.

For years I have been facing the same passport problem over and over again. My 'race' is defined as 'Chinese'. There were many times where I had to present my IC ( identification card ) as well as my passport, because they thought my passport was a fake. How many mat salleh ( Bahasa : white person ) in Malaysia have 'Chinese' as their 'race'?

This problem arose when I was twelve years old -- the year to be recognized as a citizen in Malaysia.

I went to get my IC done at the Dept of Registration.  I asked the officer if I could put my 'race' as 'Mix'.

"Tak boleh! (Nope!)" she said firmly.  I only had three choices: Chinese, Indian or Malay. It didn't make sense to me. I'm a mix of two bloods, not a pure breed Chinese! I pleaded again and again to the officer to let me put my 'race' as 'mix'.  

I told her that a friend of mine was half British and half Malay, so he became a 'Malay' but he also wanted to be a 'mix'. I asked, "Why?" 

The more I pleaded for her to reason with me,  the more she was annoyed.

Finally, I asked if I could tick the last box and be a "lain-lain (others)".  And I got a 'no' as well. So in the end, the only choice I had was 'Chinese'.

And so began the "What kind of Chinese are you?" question every time I present my passport at the Malaysian immigration.  Obviously, I don't look like a typical Chinese if I have European blood.

At one point, a Singaporean immigration officer thought I was being kidnapped and smuggled into Singapore by a whole car load of Chinese  -- my uncle and his wife, my grandparents, my mom and my cousin sister.

When I attended the 2011 Fashion and Sense (Miss Transgender Malaysia) competition, the question given to Miss Sarawak was, "Do you think passports should be issued for transgenders?" Her answer was obviously a 'yes', and the crowd went wild as most attendees were from the transgender community.

I sat there and thought about it.

I could imagine what they have to face when they present their passports to the officers. Instead of the immigration officer asking, "Cina apa?" like what get, the immigration officer would probably ask, "Lelaki apa? (What kind of man are you?)"

How are they supposed to answer that????? "Saya campur..... ( I am a mix?????)

How would a transgender feel when she is asked a question like that ( with officers giggling behind her?)  Does she feel 'injustice', anger, slighted?

If I feel 'unfair' being categorized into boxes that don't define who I am but being forced to be who I am not, and I am utterly unhappy, then how about the transgenders? They don't get this treatment just at the immigration offices, they get it at clinics, hospitals, job interviews and everywhere!

How can we be 1Malaysia if we are still categorized like this? If Malays, Chinese, and Indians are 'Malaysians' and they have their own little 'categories' in ID cards and passports, what about those of mixed parentage, especially those who are half European, half African or do not have the typical Malaysian Malay, Chinese and Indian looks?  Does that mean I am only HALF Malaysian?

It is easy to wear a 1Malaysia t-shirt and say 'Satu Malaysia!" and see all sorts of money being poured into campaigns. But just how 1Malaysia are we?

If we claim that we are 1Malaysia, then does any one of us have any right to stop a transgender to be who she is?

Watching Portraits of Perseverance

“Portraits of Perseverance” sheds light on some of the troubles four women face in their daily lives, and how they manage to cope with them. I find it amazing how the women pull through each day and still remain cheerful and committed to their responsibilities.

For Lucy, she juggles the duties of a mother and the added plight of a Lupus patient. Pong had to deal with losing her legs after giving birth over 26 years ago. As for Nisha and Sulastri, they are bombarded with the unique challenges of being transsexuals in a conservative society.

Well, there goes the saying that, "when the going gets tough, the tough gets going."

Once the POP video was completed, the post-production team watched the final draft. I realized that everyday, the women take on these challenges bravely and triumph over them.

Snippets of the documentary featured Pong moving about with difficulty, yet without complaining at all; Sulastri emphasising that "this is who" she is, regardless of what others might think or say about her. These are women of strength.

They are heroines in their own right.  



Ching Ching talking to the interns in the post-production team about the video.


“It’s a very heartwarming video, and it highlights some problems that these women go through. We are lucky enough to not have to face these problems!" Dominique said, when asked about his thoughts concerning the video. “But at the same time, it also highlights problems that all of us as people share. (The video) has a lot of life lessons (that teach us) to appreciate the things we have.”

Young ones like us could learn so much from them.

Joshua’s take on the video pretty much sums up what many of us thought of it, “It’s very touching. It’s a production that can relate to (many aspects of) one’s life.”

The documentary gives the viewer access into the daily lives of the women. 
It takes the viewer to a personal level to understand their stories.

It successfully tells those stories in the rawest and most realistic way possible.

“Considering this is eHomemakers first documentary, I think we did a really good job.” said Rhonwyn, who was part of the “Portraits of Perseverance” production team.



Some of the post-production team members watching the final POP draft.



All in all, the process of making the video has been a roller-coaster ride, just like the many journeys we embark on in life. But through that grinding process, this masterpiece of a documentary was born.

You be the judge of that!

I personally believe that this video delivers a very strong theme - that is, tough times don’t last, but TOUGH PEOPLE DO.  As Joshua said, “The women have times when they are down, and during those times, they look up." 

And I hope that every person who watches "Portraits of Perseverance" will be touched by that message.


by Junmey

The Temuans' Land

The calm waters of Sungai Selangor.

A trip to Frasers Hill can be a great experience for travelers. Tourists en route there often stop by the sleepy town of Kuala Kubu Bharu for some good Hailam food. Traditional Hailam noodles and Yoot Loy coffee shop’s homemade Kaya on toast are just some of the specialties the town has to offer to the adventurous and hungry.

To get to Frasers, you’d have to pass the great Sungai Selangor dam. It has become an attraction on its own, and the beauty and the breeze makes it easy to see why.

It would’ve been more beautiful if not for the story behind its making.


The large body of water covers what used to be part of the Orang Asli (that is, the Temuans) home. Judging by the size of the lake, it could’ve been home to hundreds of households, and a huge number of flora and fauna. Like so much of the world’s pristine land, it was altered to meet the needs of the urbanizing lifestyle.

We hear so much about “Going Green” in the media these days. Advertisements, documentaries and government movements scream “Save the environment!” Many of these campaigns have been initiated by the higher authorities throughout the decade.

Water flowing into the resevoir in the Sungai Selangor dam. 

Well, in 2002, a big chunk of greenery and the precious ancestral home of the Temuans was flooded to be made into a dam.

I had the privilege of joining the Chern family, who lent a hand to the 'Portraits of Perseverance' project on their visit to the Temuan community. Despite much of their land having been bulldozered over, the village was still very green and the air was just refreshing. Playing host was Antares, a resident of Kampung Pertak. A brilliant storyteller and guide, he took us us to Sungai Pertak, where the villagers’ lives are centred.

The river was just a few minutes away from the houses. We walked on a mud trail made by several pairs of feet making their way back and forth daily, treading carefully so we don’t slip and fall. To say the understated, Sungai Pertak was gorgeous.

A few village girls walked past us, hair wet and looking fresh from a dip in the river. A Temuan mother was washing some clothes, while her little girl waded in the waters.  Antares hopped on the rocks to get to a spot where the river gushed. He sat himself in between the rocks and indulged in a natural back massage by the swift waters. 


I admired the clear water and the backdrop of tall trees. Mysterious sounds from the forest – what were they, birds? Insects? – interrupted the singing river.

Antares sitting by the crystal clear river.

“This beautiful scenery is merely a fraction of the old village,” I reminded myself.

Our host and “ceremonial guardian of the Magick river”, Antares, said that there used to be more trees, and it was greener back then. Walking back to his home from the river, we stopped to look at a big, empty grassfield.

“There used to be a big tree around here many years ago.” He said, pointing at an empty field nearby his house. “They used to call it the Fairy Tree.”  Grinning with what looked like reminiscent pride, Antares said, “People from around the world would come here and say, ‘Hey, that looks like a tree for fairies!’ “

I’d like to think that children were playing by the Fairy Tree. Maybe they spent their day, sitting on its large roots, beneath the shelter of its leaves, playing with imaginary fairies.

It’s a shame no child can do that now.

As we sat on the verandah of Antares' home, I couldn't help but realize how peaceful the village was  -- a few trees scattered here and there around the houses, the calming trail that led to the river, a lush green environment with clean air. Immersed in surrounding nature, one could hardly imagine the chaos in the environment, just outside the village.

Mrs. Chern smiled, "If one were to sit here when the sun sets, in the evening, it is beautiful.”

The future of this beautiful land may look bleak. But for the present, any one who visits Antares should just enjoy the natural beauty as she suggested.

by Junmey

Life by Sungai Pertak

At the foothills of Fraser's Hill is the small town of Kuala Kubu Bharu, where rows and rows of buildings house family food businesses and sundry shops.

“There’s something charming about this place,” I thought to myself as the very kind Mr. and Mrs. Chern and I sat waiting for our food in a small Hailam coffee shop. The sweet Chern family had counted me in on their little food trip before heading up the hills. The quiet and simple KKB lifestyle was certainly a refreshing change from the Kuala Lumpur hustle and bustle just an hour’s drive away.

Further up from this town is a winding trail that leads to the small, green Orang Asli village, Kampung Pertak.

It used to be bigger and a lot greener.

Passing by Sungai Selangor

The Cherns were on a mission to deliver a release form for three songs by the indigenous Orang Asli band, Akar Umbi, from their album “Songs of the Dragon”. These pure and beautiful pieces were used by 'Portraits of Perseverance' in the documentary.

Driving up the hill, we came across a rest stop overlooking the picturesque Sungai Selangor Dam. We joined  families, couples and travel groups who were admiring the lake. Large and quiet, the waters glistened in the sun, with the cool breeze as its company. A stretch of distant mountains and clouds in the sky drew a breathtaking picture.

The vast space where the dam now occupied used to be home to the Temuan tribe.

Driving into the village, we set our eyes upon the modern “rumah papan”, made of concrete. Mr. Chern said many had electricity and running water supply. This was the first time I saw concrete houses with fairly high-tech features in a village. They looked really nice, too! I found it strange that some of them were empty of residents.

A sign to let us know that Kampung Pertak was not far off!

I got to meet Antares, a friend of the Cherns and a resident of Kampung Pertak for the past 20 years.

His wife, Anoora, shyly shook our hands as we walked up the stairs to their home. She and the residents of the village are Temuans, an aboriginal tribe, Orang Asli, with animistic beliefs. "They believe in spirits of the forest, that their lives and the lives of their ancestors are connected to the environment in a spiritual way." Mr. Chern explained as we sat on Antares' verandah, looking out at the serene, green surroundings.

To me, it was a beautiful place. But to the Orang Asli, it was so much more.

“They (the Orang Asli) actually knew that every tree, every rock, every mountain, every river, is an entity that’s got its own story, that it is in fact a manifestation of their ancestors. Their physical bodies became the physical landscape.” Antares said.

“It’s the flesh of their ancestors. “

I wonder how they felt when their ancestral land was bulldozered and cleared out to be made into a dam.

“Orang Asli have the tendency to inhabit a certain biological region for thousands of years. Ten, twenty, thirty thousand years.“ We listened to Antares speak as we took sips from the tea he brewed.

“When you’ve stayed in this area for so many generations, you know that the ground you’re walking on - your great-great-great grandmother was buried here! And out of (the land) where she was buried, this big durian tree grew!” He gestured to the grass. “You have a sense of continuity of life. The tree grows out of the place where your great-great grandmother was buried, so she becomes part of the earth, the earth becomes part of the tree, the tree rots and goes back to being the earth, so the flow itself is sacred!”

That really hit me in my tummy area. It’s a sad, inevitable reality that sometimes, in order for new things to bloom, old tradition and life has to be torn down.

A calming view of the river.

It isn’t just the ancestral land that is dying little by little. In recent years, the Temuan culture has been fading. What sped up this process is the passing on of the older generation of Temuans, like Mak Minah Angong. They were probably the last generation who held on to the memory of their ancestors. During the twenty years of Antares’ stay in Kampung Pertak, he has watched the young villagers grow up and as is the cycle of life, he’s also seen many of the older folks, the generation of storytellers, pass away.

“They started dying two years after I arrived,” Antares said. “Anoora’s uncle was the story-teller. For two years, I had the benefit of befriending him.” (Many of the stories are recorded in Antares’ book, Tanah Tujuh, available on Silverfish.com)

And as these storytellers left forever, it seemed like they took many of the Temuan lullabies and legends along with them. The beautiful tradition is fast dying among the younger people, like Anoora and her son, Ahau. 


According to Antares, the young ones grew up with television as entertainment, “generally the most toxic intrusion that you could have in your home”, in lieu of their ancestors’ traditional songs and stories. The “mediocre programmes” on TV do not feed the villagers with helpful knowledge.

The deterioration of the younger generation is fuelled even more by their poor grasp of English, which has become so important during these times. 


”They were denied the opportunity to actually master English. English is taught in school, but minimally. If they were fluent in English like how they are fluent in Malay, they would have a much bigger range of options in life. They would be able to access – like the rest of us who are English-speaking – information in the whole worldwide web. It gives them a complete spectrum.” Antares said with much passion.

“So, because of their language limitation, and their being subject to the encroachment of so-called modernity,” the young Temuans are not able to compete with the rest of their generation in the city, they are not able to improve their lifestyle. At the same time, they are losing touch with their roots.

A young Temuan man walked past Antares’ house carrying a big bunch of “petai” plants. Mrs. Chern stopped him to ask if he would sell them to her.

”What they do for a living?” Mr. Chern asked.

“Well, the young fellas invariably end up ‘potong rumput’,“ was our host’s reply.

“How about working in plantations?”

Kampung Pertak up ahead.

"No, no, no.” Antares said firmly. 

“But there are other things that they can do but they don't want to do. See, they (cannot) see simple things. I was hoping they’d see immediately why there’re so many people coming every weekend. Why are there people from all over the world coming here? Because it’s beautiful!

“Look at the beautiful river! What is there to stop them from building a few beautiful chalets? Teaching their kids to speak some English, so they can do a small homestay kind of business?” he said, voicing his hopes about his fellow villagers. “By learning how to do that for tourists, they would preserve the beauty of the environment, (and at the same time,) they would become independent owners of their own business. Even the capital involvement is minimal!

“But, I don’t want to initiate it, I want them to initiate it!”

“So what’s stopping them from doing it is their mentality?” I couldn’t resist asking.

“Lack of initiative. Lack of self-esteem." Antares thought for a moment, then shrugged,  "Fear. A lot of fear.“

I guessed he meant that the Orang Asli, who lead such simple lives, are afraid of disapproval from the authorities, maybe even afraid of failure.

“Do they plant vegetables here? “ Mr Chern pointed at the bottom of the houses. “Or they just go to the forest and collect (resources)?”

“The Orang Asli are so relaxed because for thousands of years (it’s been like this) - No food? Go to the backyard, walk ten steps (to the) tapioca tree, harvest a few young leaves – you’ve got ‘pucuk ubi’.” Antares explained. “Go to the river, catch some fish. A gang of kids would go there, 5 or 8 years old. One hour of playing in the river, they’ll get enough fish for lunch.”

At Antares' home. From left: Antares, George (a friend of Antares), Mrs. Chern and Mr. Chern

“So, they’re used to this fact that abundance is all around them and there’s no need to worry about the future. They don’t think about planting because they find it easier to just go to the jungle and get some ‘cemperai’ leaves, some ‘rebung’ (bamboo shoots). They can eat ‘cendawan’ as they know which fungus they can eat. They can eat roots, tapioca, yam. There’re thousands of things to eat from the jungle, as long as it (the jungle) is not destroyed!"

“They know that even tapioca leaves, ikan bilis or a few fried fish – that’s a meal. Or catch ten fish from the river, grab a handful of tapioca leaves – that’s dinner. And they only cook once a day. So, they cook a big pot of rice, they cook the fish and the tapioca leaves. They might have something on the side. They might have some ‘tempoyak’ ( which is durian sambal, fermented durian with chilli and salt) from the last durian season .”

By the time Antares described how delicious the ‘tempoyak’ was, my mouth was watering.

“It’s a nice meal.” Antares nodded. “Everybody is fed. They don’t have to worry so much, not this bunch of people, because they have the forest around them and they have the river.”

Antares walking us to the river in the cool evening.

Evening was fast approaching and the Cherns and I had to make a move. I peered into the sitting room where Anoora lay with a sarong pulled up over her shoulders, watching a Hindi movie that Astro was featuring. Ahau  ( his son) was in his own room, sleeping the afternoon away.

We got into Mr. Chern’s car and started driving out of the village. Along the way, we passed a group of young Temuans who were probably my age or younger. They waved at us strangers with big, white smiles that contrasted their dark skin. What a pleasant send-off!

I couldn’t help but wonder how lost the young Temuans would feel, as their ancestral land is being torn down,  their culture and identity becomes less and less clear each day.

I listen to the lullabies on the Akar Umbi CD. Mak Minah’s voice is beautiful. Also eerily haunting.

Would her recorded voice be all that’s left of the Temuan culture, say, in thirty years to come?

by Junmey

Happiness: It Continues to Be the Only Way

Previously I had written about Pong while she was still in the hospital receiving treatment for her Leukemia. During that same period of time, within a year, she had lost both her mother and her brother. I had also mentioned my own personal struggle to find happiness, despite the fact that I have so much more than Pong. Recently I have seen a video of Pong within her home talking about the issues facing the disabled and how she has been able to persevere through this troubling year. Despite the many troubles she faces, happiness continues to be the main fuel of her life.

In the Chinese zodiac calendar, this coming year will be the year of the Dragon. The Dragon is not only a mythical beast, but a powerful one as well. I am not sure exactly what Pong's zodiac animal is, but her choice to be happy represents the dragon in many ways. Like the dragon, happiness at times can be very elusive and even somewhat mythical or non-existant. However, if you are able to attain the spirit of the dragon, or the true spirit of happiness, your life can be filled with security and can extend of an indefinite period of time. Furthermore, the dragon is not the type of animal to be thwarted by just any type of obstacle, much like Pong is with her unfortunate losses and her physical health. Pong has already proven herself this year as a true woman of character and strength, but with her strength and her choices, the year of the dragon I am sure will be her year.

In my previous post, I had also reflected upon the question of how happiness can be so elusive to those who may have it the easiest. For example, Pong's situation to an outsider is grave to save the least, yet she leads on and expresses herself to Ehomemakers and the youtube community with a smile and a sense of hope that cannot be discouraged by outside forces. Yet, those with all of the opportunity, items, and relationships in the world can be so unhappy. Pong has proven that adversity and suffering, while definitely prohibitive and negative and nature, can also serve to inspire the self and others. Happiness is not something that comes and goes with Pong, she chooses to live her life the way that all of us should no matter what we are given or what we lack in our personal lives.

I am learning to relax

Justina ( Lucy's best friend who passed away in Jan 2011. Both of them have been models for the Salaam Wanita project for eHomemakers) had a list of places to visit in the world and people she liked to meet - President Obama at the White House in Washington DC, Queen Elizabeth in Buckingham Palace, the mayor of New York, Bario in Borneo Sarawak, California,  London, and the seven wonders of the world. She also dreamt about taking a cruise around the world for a year with Lucy.

"Where to get the money to go-oh?" she laughed about her silliness when she recounted these places to me.

It was her enthusiasm and curiosity for life that made me promised her that I would find her a way. I didn't know how then ( and still don't know how to spread her ashes to those places.....), but I knew one thing -- one step at a time.

Justina and my family were showing intern, Jugo, how to taste durian in this 2010 video. See her lively and carefree persona.

Lucy in Cambodia

With a stroke of luck, this project was able to combine the attendance of a Fair Trade Conference in Cambodia with a filming activity for Lucy's story.  Lucy finally met with other homeworker leaders who barely spoke a word of English and she realized that she was a capable lady!!

The opportunity was really a miracle, it just came!  When I was sitting in the tuk tuk with Lucy, watching Morgan and Rhon cycling behind us towards Angkor Wat, I felt so good that my promise to Justina to visit Angkor Wat and Tonle Sap was fulfilled.  Her ashes were in a plastic tupple wear in my knapsack and I carried it everywhere I went- field trip in a slum, Angkor Wat, museum, Tonle Sap temple and walk arounds!!!

Lucy looking out at Tonle Sap

Lucy spread her ashes at the two places. And Lucy laughed, not feeling sorrowful about her best friend's absence -- this was what Justina had wanted for Lucy all these years! 

 "Laugh and be happy, who cares?" I heard Justina saying this in my ears.

My guilt about my inability to help her get an immediate surgery for the gall bladder stone removal was finally ebbing away.

Lucy preparing Justina's ashes.

A friend told me recently, "Justina went away to a better world because her time here was finished. She went away because she is giving Lucy a chance to grow into the person she had wanted her to be -- a Lupus patient who takes risk to try anything new, be active publicly, has no fear about what people say about her, and has a 'can do' attitude."

"And Justina is also giving you answers to the questions you have about God!" she said pointedly.  

  

I pondered about her wisdom for weeks. Answers to my questions about 'why', 'why the dark hours are so long', 'when am I getting breakthroughs to what I am doing with eHomemakers?' are beginning to form shapes.

Am I not seeing the answers?

So I started to be more conscious about everyone abnd everything's presence in my life.

Think positive, Ching Ching, don't sweat the small things, don't take things too personally, look at the non-toxic people around you, look at all the good things around you.

Look, look, look!!!

Yes, I am LOOKING!!

 Lucy is really a different  person now. She talks and laughs more. I did begin to see her in a different light during the Cambodian trip!  I felt a sense of peace just sitting with her in the tuk tuk despite the scary traffice around us.

 I got to see two young ladies, Morgan and Rhon, being fascinated by the Conference and all things Cambodian.    

Morgan and Rhon at a dressed up as Indian and Chinese for a get-together night at the Conference in Jan 2012

When I look at the picture of both of them, I tell myself, "Hey, you have blessings and you are not treasuring the moments with them. Stop moaning about God's absence. He has sent you all these angels! You have not been alone! When you needed assurance at the beginning of 2012, you got Lucy, Rhon, Morgan to be with you in an unusual place full of history.  You heard laughters. You saw their curiosity about life.  Remember what Jenny Pong said in her video journal at the hospital ( when she has painful infection)?  Always think positive, life is too short."

Yes. YesZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!

Think of the moments, the NOW that you are living in!




Yesterday, I watched this video of me eating crickets in Siem Reap for lunch and I laughed and laughed.  All the worries about finance, eHomemakers's future, and me standing at a cross-road in life just disappeared.

I felt light-hearted.
These are moments to treasure.

This one-year project has given me so many insights about life's ups and downs through all the people involved.  And it has been confirming to me that I have been blessed in many ways, it is just that I don't seem to see the blessings when I am down.  I know I mustn't dwell on negative incidences which are part of life's trials. I must move on like Lucy, Pong, Swee Lian, Sulastri and Nisha.

Life is too short. All of them have said this to me over the last few months when I got to interact with them at a more personal level.

Ok, what else do I have in my life that give me enthusiasm? MY daughter and her friends!

                                           A walk to the Mother Fall in KKB in 2009 with teenagers!

Me and a group of teenagers in October 2011!

So Ching Ching, keep going, keep eating, keep laughing, keep dreaming, keep having life in your heart, and keep hoping!!!

(And keep dreaming that this blog site will continue with several other women of perseverance series. And don't worry even if others think you are a nut, again! )

By Chong Sheau Ching