"Life is So Short" She Said

I rummaged through the piles of plastic that came with the large stock of eco-baskets which the weavers just brought to the office.

I grabbed a hand-woven piece and read its serial number out loud to Lucy so that she could note down the stock. It wasn’t easy when there was so much information on the label. Lucy bobbed her head up. Adjusting her glasses, she looked at the basket I was struggling with.

“Is that a ‘Pinnochio Shoe’?” She suddenly said, referring to the unique piece I held in my hands.
 

“Err, yeah.”I replied.

Nodding, she recited the whole serial number to me, that bought me time to catch up with her on the next few items. She was one fast middle-aged lady!

And a one-woman show for the eco-basket project!

 

Aww, I'm smiling already!

Lucy’s commitment to volunteer work with the eco-basket project at eHomemakers and the Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE) Association (not to mention her duties as a wife and mother) – sees her traveling back and forth between Kajang and Kuala Lumpur / Petaling Jaya (that would be about two hours, one-way. Four hours, daily, goodness!), rushing to catch the next bus or a train, walking to offices from public transport stations, running errands and making preparations for events or coordinating other volunteers. 

Although it is so easy for a busy woman like Lucy to get cranky from exhaustion, or maybe even big-headed for being so indispensable, she doesn’t behave this way at all. She just does her tasks, smiles at young interns like me who make mistakes in front of her, and excitedly tells you stories from her past (and maybe offer you salt-sprinkled oranges for lunch).

Lucy wasn’t always the chirpy, passionate, confident, 'go-get-em' kind of person she is today.

The woman speaking to crowds at SLE events and eco-basket exhibitions, the woman confidently delivering her story in the 'Portraits of Perseverance' documentary, the woman dedicated to volunteer work that she’s passionate about – a few years ago, that woman was in a shell, shy and passive.

The turning point in Lucy's life happened, because of a fellow Lupus patient – her close friend, Justina Low Yew Lee.

 

One strong, unique lady - Justina Low.

In life, there are just certain things that trigger some sort of change within a person. That change could be due to a desire spark to make that change, or it could be purely involuntary. Change that can make or break a person.

I know of a boy who was extremely sweet and bubbly as a kid. He had a very creative and colourful imagination, and he often would chatter on about things beyond his years. He had a bright, sensitive, yet confident natural instinct.

Many things about him changed ever since he entered primary school.

Due to his upbringing in an English-speaking home, he found it difficult to learn Chinese language. His Chinese language teacher would pick on his Chinese language homework, telling the whole class how he had ugly handwriting and that he was not as "smart" as the rest.

I don't know if the teacher did what she did intentionally, but the impact on her students was made. Many of his classmates repeated the teacher's insults on him, poked fun at him, and refused to play with him. For a boy who was barely eight, the continuous bullying from both his classmates and his teacher reduced his self-confidence.

From a child who seemed to take the sunshine with him everywhere he went, who could play with action figures, make up his own clever role play scripts, and name several species of dinosaurs from the top of his head - the bullies in school made him a sullen and sheepish individual, too shy to speak up.

I'm not directing this at Chinese school teachers, because I have had the privilege of having strict but loving and tactful ones. The teachers he had obviously weren't meant to be teachers.

Although the story has a happy ending (he grew up to be a successful individual, with a sense of humour), it's sad how some events in our life can change a person for the worse. 

Lucy’s was a different story than the boy's. Justina was chatty and adventurous. She was a very positive, happy woman who always tried to push Lucy out of her shell and to live life to its fullest. She was that type of person - a source of joy - wanting others to be as happy as she was. Justina had succumbed to Lupus in 2011.

Lucy and Maria Skouras (Photo credits to The Advocacy Project) 

So it seems lightning does strike twice in the same place. Within three months of Justina's death, a very dear aunt of Lucy's passed on. Then, her mother-in-law - whom Lucy had been taking care of - passed away as well.

A loved one’s death is never an easy thing to deal with, especially if it’s sudden. Having someone close to you - laughing with you, involved in your life actively and making plans with you one moment - and then, losing her for good in the next moment... 

When you finally realize that you wouldn’t have the chance to do the things that you've been planning to do with her anymore - it would be a harsh blow to anyone.

Lucy could’ve allowed Justina's untimely death to affect her. She could’ve stopped volunteering at non-profit organizations. She could’ve let herself continue to mourn her loss. She could have gone into depression. She could have kept staring at door that Justina had closed. That her aunt, her mother-in-law had closed.

And her name was Justina. (Photo credits to The Advocacy Project)

But she didn’t let herself fall into that state.

In many ways, Justina's passing had sparked a desire in Lucy to change her way of life. Lucy could hear Justina telling her, "Go do it, don't be afraid!"
 

Remembering her friend's wisdom about life, Lucy started to make changes to hers. She began to step out, speak up, explore, travel and meet new people – things Justina had wanted for her quiet, shy friend.

This new perspective of life saw her traveling on a boat in Cambodia with the documentary team, making new friends at an international conference, speaking at SLE events, learning to be a group leader in the eco-basket project, telling her story to the world through the "Portraits of Perseverance" documentary, befriending other strong women figures, and impacting more lives through her passion for volunteer work.

 Lucy - with some of the eco baskets - flashing a winning smile.

 

 

Justina’s death propelled Lucy to try and do things that she never would have had the confidence or drive to do otherwise. And because Lucy begin to have that drive, she has accomplished so much a year after Justina left her! Watching her handlng her work with leadership and independence, speaking confidently and brightly, I find it hard to imagine that she used to be a benchwarmer, a passive player who was afraid to step up to opportunities given to her.

“Life is so short,” has become Lucy’s new life motto.

"Life is what we make of it, you can either do nothing or you can do as many things as you can every day!" She told us young interns who were (okay, maybe some of us still are) trying to figure out what our lives are all about.

Justina strutting some marketing skills! (Photo credits to The Advocacy Project)

I did not know Justina personally. But I can see part of who she was live on through the way Lucy lives her life now. Lucy now steps up without shying away from new people or situations, she has overcome her comfort zone. As she is doing all these, she has become even more of  an inspiration for others to do the same. All I can say is, Justina must have been quite a person to be able to leave such a great impact and mark on Lucy’s life.

 

Photography by Wang Junmey

There will come a time where we will be faced with news or events that might threaten to take away something that is dear to us - our confidence, comfort or people we love. That's where we have to choose between curling up in a sad ball and refusing to move on, or to address the issue, solve it and keep walking.

We're only human. Experiences can bring us down. 

As cliché as this may sound, what I've learned from Lucy these few months is, it’s alright to fall, it’s alright if you don’t handle these hard times perfectly and it’s alright to be brought down, as long as you find a way to get back on your feet and overcome adversity. Don't let it drag you down and change your positive outlook of life.

While you do what you choose to do, just remember that, what Lucy says is so true  - life really is so short.

We only have so many days. So, live.

 

Just live, test your waters, make mistakes, learn from them, climb high and get back up when you fall, love yourself and love others without fear.

Beyond the obstacles that dominate our sight, are stars to be reached. 

You only live once.

by Junmey

A Matter of Love and Respect

I really like that Portraits of Perseverance shed light on the transgender community (by highlighting the lives of Nisha and Sulastri)  - their struggles and how they persevere through tough times. Their stories echo not just their own plights, but that of the whole community's uphill battle against discrimination.

Their community seeks love and the right to live without persecution.

Just a typical day for Sulastri Ariffin.

A little religious debate sparked on the joke website, 9Gag (Just For Fun - really?) as protests to legalize gay marriage rocked the United States and the media feed recently. A 9Gagger commented something along the lines of, "Christians are such (expletive). Why do (expletive) Christians hate homosexuals? Did Jesus (expletive) say 'Hate homosexuals!'? Christians, get your (expletive) facts right!"

Well, he should get his facts right, as well. (Touche) I can answer that, "Christians do not hate gays." But who can blame people for being so defensive about the whole thing?

As a Christian, I can tell you that there is nothing in my religion that encourages hate towards the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transsexual) community.

It doesn't teach you to hate anyone for that matter. In fact, I strongly believe that any peaceful religion in the world would not propagate hatred for the LGBT. But there will always be people in any religious sect who misunderstand and take these teachings to the extreme.

As a Christian, I am aware that there is a stigma linked to the Christian Church. People tell me straight in the face that Christians are judgemental and rigid. Honestly, some can be this way. But those are the bad eggs. Don't let them ruin the whole batch of fresh ones.

Should the world judge the whole country of France just because Zinedine Zidane headbutted Italy's Marco Materazzi during the football World Cup in 2006? And even if they choose to, they should at least hear both sides of the story. I hope you see my point in comparing these two situations.

Zidane giving Italy's Materazzi a piece of his mind, using his head, and aiming it at Materazzi's tummy.

If a religion disallows homosexuality, certain people of that religion might take it to the next level by not just disallowing, but condemning homosexuality AND homosexuals. LGBT activists counter by holding protests or demonstrations.

Relationships between these two parties become strained. With the world already being torn apart by different political, social, and religious ideologies, I don't think it needs any more assistance.

The world has its share of extremists. And I mean that in an everyday sense.

Accepting a person's lifestyle is one thing. Accepting who they are as humans, is a different thing altogether. Some people may be in support of the LGBT lifestyle, some may not be. That's one case. But what I feel is this -- what really matters is that people accept someone of that community as a person and as a friend.



Nisha Ayub of the Pink Triangle Foundation.

Certain people may not agree with the LGBT lifestlye. Similarly, a transgender may not agree with a Christian lifestyle. Both parties have the rights to their own ideas and principles. Neither can impose their beliefs on the other party.

So what if one person's 'straight', while the other isn't?  Does that mean one is superior to the other?

Not at all. We're human, one and the same. It all boils down to a relationship of respect.

I cannot make a friend eat barbecued meat with me if he's a vegetarian. But would I hate him for it? People have different ways of life, and different ideas about things. It doesn't mean we should shun that person based on his beliefs or lifestyle. 

Should different viewpoints cause persecution? Should that cause hatred?

I don't see why it should!

In the same way a Chelsea fan and a Manchester United fan can watch a game together at the local mamak stall - each staying true to his beloved club without condemning or rejecting the other - I dream that the world will be this way one day.

Transgender or not, we have the same ability to feel, love and value one another as human beings. This world would be a happy place if we could love, value and above all, respect one another.


By Junmey

Missing Canada!

 

"Thank you for believing in me, for taking care of me, for giving me this opportunity.......As I leave now, looking back, I know it was meant to be.  God brought me here for a reason.  ............Malaysia is beautiful, the people, tjeir smiles, their hospitality, their warmth, that is what I am taking home with me.......I feel like I am taking home some of this 'warmth' with me..........I've changed during my time here,,,,I am so happy that I have. I was looking for something and i found it in the comfort of these walls and these strange streets. It felt like home to me...because of you."

As I read Morgan Reed's farewell card to me, I got all emotional. I called the taxi driver, Mr Gill, who was taking Morgan to the airport. "Can I talk to Morgan?" I begged.

"She just left your house less than an hour ago and you already miss her? How are you going to live in the next few days?" Mr Gill laughed.  He has been the eHomemakers city guide cum body guard for female foreign interns.

Farewell dinner with intern Tzer Haw's family.

Morgan came to the phone, I was so touched by what she wrote that I didn't know how to put my feelings into words, "Hey you, your cards is making Rhon cry. She is sniffing and tearing now. I am about to follow her too...."

"Ohhhhhhhh," she said. "I will miss you guys too!"

That was how we said our last goodbye.

Morgan at a steam boat buffet, and then being treated with a rainbow cake!

I've dealt with 20 foreign interns or young volunteers for eHomemakers in the last seven years. Some  left imprints in eHomemakers while some leave unsavory memories. None has left such deep footprints in my life like Morgan has done. The documentary we were working on required both of us to discuss issues from different perspectives.  Her homestaying with me also meant that we were closely in touch with each other, day and night! This could bring out the worst in our relationship if we couldn't stand each other! 


But in our case, it helped us to reach out to each other,in very human way.





Her cheerfulnees, energetic body, limitless enthusiasm, commitment and the 'can-do' attitude reminded me of the many peopole I met while I was a student in U of Saskatchewan in Saskatoon, Canada.   I have fond memories of people in Saskatchewan  --- their genuine friendliness, and their kindness to a foreigner without strings attached.

Barbara Block visiting KL in December 2011. 

City families like the Blocks adopted me as if I were one of their daughters. I made Malaysian dinners for them and got to eat things I couldn't afford. The whole Block family sent me off at the Greyhound bus station when I left for Vermont to do my master's. Mother Block made me sandwiches, put oranges,apples and canned drinks into two brown lunch bags for me. As the bus left the station, the scene of all the Blocks waving their hands at me etched in my memory. 

Kodak moment in my mind. 






Now when Babara Block, their daughter who lives in India, visits me, I make sure she got her delicious pork dishes, dim sum and anything she can't get in India ! The Canadian kindness they gave me when I was a lone poor student can't be repaid with all the meals I can give to Barbara!

Then there was the LaBar Family whose farm in Birsay was my playground. I went there many times to milk cows, picked blueberries and raspberries, sat on the combine when it was harvesting wheat, and yelled at the top of my lungs while riding pillon on a motobike which was flying off the rolling hills.  I used to help Mother LaBar made butter from fresh milk, and head cheese from cows they just slaughtered.
Kodak moment in my mind.

And there was my Agro big sister Irene whose family taught me to roast turkey and made Christmas cookies.  A picture of me holding a big fat turkey was their family's favorite picture for many years.
Kodak moment in my mind. 

Although I was a poor student, these Canadian familiues showed me their best hospitality, feeding me, taking me to the lakes and Banff for camps, driving me to see the Northern lights and teaching me to hunt moose. And when they could, they tried to made me drink beers and milk like they did ( except the Block family..)  And there was so much joy and laughter. Those years were the best carefree years of my life!

I haven't been back to Saskatchewan since I left almost 27 years ago, it seemed like yesterday when I was there learning how to x-country ski so that I could get to the university on time because it was faster for me to to ski than to sink into deep snow that almost reached my knee...........

Morgan told me that Saskatoon is now a cosmopolitan city, it is much bigger than the time when I was there.  Things have changed in Saskatoon and much of Saskatchewan. 

Morgan's bright smile is what endeared others to her. 

Except for the Blocks, I have lost touch with the other famiilies who adopted me. I wish I have the opportunity to see them and find out what has happened to them all these years.

Morgan having BBQ lamb at a luk luk stand in TTDI. 

Image of Morgan carrying the camera on her backpack with the tripod perched on her shoulder will be another Kodak moment in my mind.

She was just like like the first strong Canadian woman I saw when the Air Italia plane I was in landed in a bad snow storm at the Toronto airport in January 1980.  She was the lone woman who directed the plane with two luminant beacons, and then she moved a ladder-like trolley to another plane on her own, walked up and scraped  ice from the window, her long blond hair laid neatly at the back of her neck in a French braid.  Beautiful.                                                                                 Kodak moment in my mind. 

Coming from a country where the state owned utility company sent six men to fix a broken street lamp and taking an hour to do so with a lot of shouting and talking, the woman on the snow covered pavement left a big fooitprint in my mind with her bravery.  She was 'unusual' and fascinating to me because she was in men's work domain and she could multi-task effortlessly.  

Now years later, I am seeing a 27 year old young Canadian lady doing the same thing-  carrying heavy equipment on her own and doing professional work without any assistance. Morgan's genorosity -- buying the HD camera when we couldn't get any sponsorship of such a camera and her arguing with me in my kitchen about why she should pay for her share in the Cambodian trip instead of me paying for her  -- is stlill fresh in my memory. 

The people in Saskatchewan were so very genuine then, and I am still seeing it now in the form of Morgan.

Morgan trying chicken feet, still smiling. 

Now that I think about it, this is what I miss since I left Canada. Life has led me to many countries, meeting with many people and seeing many things.  But I haven't met the kind of genuine people I used to meet as a student in Canada.

I have been living in my own country for over 17 years now.  Sometimes when people give me somethng and then ask somethng back from me, or kick up a big fuss when I ask for help from them ( which is rare and I always make sure I pay them back with restaurant meals or gifts or my personal time to do somethng back for them), I think back about the times when I was in Canada.  I miss the human warmth and the natural instinct of being kind to others.

One day I shall go back to Saskatchewan to thank Canada for giving me an opportunity for an education that changed my life, and I want to tell the families who adopted me that I have tried to be that woman in the Toronto airport in my way all these years.

Oh Canada!


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Rhon's feet after cycling in Angkor Wat. Morgan's Canadian feet were in worse shape, with more mud!!
Kodak moment in my mind

By CSC

Teaser of POP

The teaser of POP is out!

 "I feel they have gone through a lot in life and I can't wait to know about their stories".  - A viewer commented on the teaser. 

I have not seen these ladies in person.  All I did is "meet" them through editing their individual videos.  Yet everytime, they never fail to teach me to be strong in life.  "Life can be tough but nothing can bring a tough person down" this is what I feel about these ladies.  Warriors, they are. 

The teaser is simple but it does not fail to portray the determination and courage of these ladies.  It touches your heart and teases you wanting to know more about them.  They have a story to be told and they are ready to share it with the world.   

POP's teaser is out make sure you watch and support it!

By Tracey Choo

Along came Morgan

The house was only occupied by my mom and I before Morgan came along.

I was so exited when I heard the news that Morgan-from-Canada-is-coming-the-one-who-will-save-our-lives-by-editing-and-filimg-the-Portraits-Of-Perseverance-documentary-for-four-months. The best part was she would be staying with my mom and I in our house. As I cleaned her room, I compiled a whole list of places to take her during her stay here.

That fateful day in November, Morgan came. My first impression of her was somewhat like this picture. Her eyes especially gave off some sort of piercing look. I couldn't blame her for looking glum. I would most probably look the same way if I were to land in a foreign country. Although my mom and I were a legit home stay, looks can definitely be deceiving... we could have eaten her alive.

I was surprised by how productive Morgan was on her first week. She didn't show any signs of jet-lag, she slept earlier than I did, and woke up (much) earlier than I ever did every single day.

As the days went by, I began to like Morgan a lot. Growing up as the only child, I always wished I had an older sibling to look up to. Morgan has definitely played that role well, even though she has only been here for a short period of time.

Since graduating from secondary school last year, I felt like I was at a big crossroad in my life - from lots of friends in school to not seeing them at all for weeks; from tons of laughter to almost not talking all day long.
Thanks to Morgan, I had someone to talk to about what I was facing. She made me realize that I'm not the only one facing something like this, because she had felt the same way too when she graduated high school... and it is all part of life.

It was also because of Morgan that I decided to buy some new blouses while shopping with my friend. Even though Morgan claims she didn't bring many things to wear here, she always looks nice no matter what she wears. Her clothes are suitable no matter what event she's attending. From wearing a uniform everyday for the past 11 years to now having to look decent while working in an office, I was at a loss about how I should look proper and professional. Observing Morgan's closet of (always decent) clothes, I decided I should use her as an example.

My mom was surprised by my choice of clothes. "They all look like something Morgan would wear!!" she exclaimed. "Yup," I said. "That's the whole point".

In my states of panic on what to wear for fancy occasions, Morgan is always a room away to help -  whether its choosing the right dress, hairpiece or necklace. She always helps me, and I'm forever thankful to her for that.

Some people say we look alike. 

Morgan also opened my eyes to a whole new set of career choices. Since I was 7 years old, I wanted to work for the animation studio, Pixar because I was fascinated by how they made toys come to life, I couldn't do that!

By the age of 13, Pixar fascinated me by the way they captured the emotions of audiences of all ages. But after 10 years of having that dream, I decided that working for Pixar wasn't right for me. I couldn't sit in one position the whole day drawing characters. It was a hard decision - thinking that you had your life all planned out from such a young age, to growing up and knowing you'll never be happy doing that and giving up on that dream altogether. Good thing I didn't take up designing as a college course!

Thanks to Morgan, I now see TV journalism as a career that I might enjoy a lot. Before Morgan came into my life, I thought that news stations only consisted of cameramen and reporters. Now I know there is more than what meets the eye. Besides being a news anchor, Morgan also decides what goes on the news. The kicker is that she can do everything herself without any assistance! She gets the information, contacts the interviewees, interviews while filming the whole episode, edits the footage and submits it to the station. Talk about a hard working lady!

It is Morgan's last few days in Malaysia now. I'm not looking forward to the day she leaves, but we can't keep her here forever. Although I may never see her again for years to come, she's definitely made a big difference in my life. I really thank God for sending me a big sister when I needed one the most.

Hair, Makeup, and the Power of Simple Routines

In American culture, makeup and hair have a special place in the female routine. Yet, how important a makeup and hair routine truly is depends on the woman herself. For myself, a two minute brushing of my hair is simply enough, makeup doesn't really have a place in my life. For others, perfect makeup and the perfect hair are essential, it is a tool of power, a shield from the world, or simply a confidence mechanism. Watching Sulastree talk about hair and makeup though gave a whole new dimension to the essentially female tradition of hair and makeup. As I watch the video of Sulastree explaining her hair plucking I notice two things: 1. How calm and matter of fact she is about this frustrating practice. 2. A quote across the screen: "it is a constant battle between my facial hair and me." Sulastree's soothing, matter of face tone and her depiction of the daily routine seem somewhat paradoxical if not completely at odds with each other.

However, this paradox does not only show bravery and zen like acceptance within an extremely difficult situation, but also the constant paradox and bravery involved in being a transgender woman. To be a woman is difficult enough, to completely change from one gender to the other, from my perspective anyway, is somewhat unimaginable. It is truly amazing to see how something as simple as plucking facial hair can attain such different meanings, connotations, and battles. It is not a rare situation to challenge or question something that is so much a part of ourselves. Something as simple as our hair color or the shape of our eyes can send someone into a spiral of insecurity, self-hatred, and despair.

As a young American teen, I struggled very much with insecurities due to my weight and physical appearance. In my mind I imagined myself as a very attractive and beautiful person; however, when I looked in the mirror, reality would strike and my mind's image would remain within my mind. It took many years for me to come to the realization that I had to take control of my situation and act purposefully to turn into the self I knew was the true me. Those years were filled with physical pain from running cross country and mental battles over eating what I want versus eating what I should. Long after I had lost the weight, and become more physically active, I still found myself unhappy with how I looked, pinching at the lose parts of my midsection, pulling at my thighs, hoping to look more like my mind's image of the physically perfect me. Through physical perseverance and the development of a healthier body image, I was able to love myself and find the confident beautiful person within myself.

Dealing with a physical attribute to feel more at peace with one's self can be difficult to a certain degree. However, Sulastri's changes to her physical appearance symbolize much more than attaining a personal goal. Every time, this courageous woman performs her morning routine, it is a symbol of endurance and success for others who struggle with their gender identity. I can only imagine, that for Sulastree, plucking hair is at the very least a nuisance and at most a frustrating reminder of certain limitations. But her can do attitude and her patient eyes give me faith in her. I am certain that she will win the battle with those hairs and that the hair plucking battle is only one of many that she will face and win.

So here is to hair, makeup, and the power of simple routines, may they bring us comfort as well as challenge our notions of what it means to be human.

Pong's Story: Take What You Feel and Use It

Pong's story has been very carefully recorded in both the Portraits of Perseverance Blog as well as in several fascinating videos on the ehPerserverance Channel on Youtube. To quickly review, Pong was born and raised in a small village named Ipoh. During her lifetime, Pong endured great difficulty by losing her child, and contracting a viral infection after her still birth. Soon after collapsing at home due to the viral infection, Pong fell into a coma for 2 months. After awakening from the coma, she was able to regain movement and strength in her arms, but her legs received the opposite diagnosis. Pong had her legs amputated but then found that the incision left behind could not to allow her to sit up straight. During this time, Pong hadto rely on dragging herself around the floors of her house on her stomach before receiving a trolly for support. (For Pong's Full Story Please Click Here)

Through all of these difficulties, and more that I have omitted for the sake of brevity, Pong has found a positive light in her life that allows her to persevere. Even with more complications such as leukemia, kidney disease, a heart attack, and more, Pong still beams with the light and charisma that are an essential characteristics of a survivor. Pong's life story is not one to be taken lightly. It is not the type of story to be glorified for the sake of human entertainment or to arouse mass amounts of pity. Her story is really a bastion for others to look upon and draw inspiration from. Even in her handicapped state, Pong serves as the voluntary President of the Hope Era, a society for handicapped citizens in Ipoh, Malaysia. She utilizes her passion and mental strength to produce outcomes that few could do without any of her limitations.

Struggles and obstacles are a natural part of everyone's life, yet Pong has had an unusual share of her own obstacles and struggles. Her life story is not one to induce

pity or despair. Instead, it serves as a stronghold for all individuals with large and small obstacles. I am sure that everyone can see a bit of their own pain and loss within Pong and her story. I feel that it is the reader's responsibility to take the feelings and emotions they receive from her story, whether that be inspiration, charisma, pity, ingenuity, etc. etc., and use those feelings to make a difference whether that difference be in Pong's Life, the reader's life, or people close to the reader. Let us all hope that we can achieve at least one quarter of what Pong can achieve with whatever we are blessed with in our lives.

Choosing Happiness or Sadness

Viewing Pong in the hospital awaiting treatment stirred within me a mixture of emotions. Pity, awe, inspiration, and even a bit of shame. I too have my own problems that I am dealing with on a daily basis at the moment, but they cannot compare to the obstacles that Pong is overcoming. I look at Pong lying in her hospital bed and I can only wonder how she is able to draw such a meaningful smile upon her face. On top of all of the operations she must endure, she reveals that she has recently lost her mother and her brother had an accident of sorts. For me, it would be just too much to bear.

But then I hear her say: "I have to choose between Happiness and Sadness, and I choose Happiness". How wonderful, I think to myself as I hear this. She is able to just succinctly and efficiently tell herself to choose happiness and to persevere. I am sure it is not as easy as it sounds, and entails much more than just a simple mental choice. But I think it is so admirable that she can put herself within that mindset. It is something that I am striving to do at the moment as I integrate myself more into China.

It is definitely not easy and at times I don't even know if I can do it. As a Masters student in China, I find that I have practically every advantage in the world. I am financially secure, on my way to achieving a respected degree in a respected field, I have my family, friends, and so much more. But at times, some of the smallest negative things, like being faraway from family or even being unable to buy turkey for thanksgiving, can bring me to my knees with despair. Why is it at times that when individuals face the most devastating of situations they can be so full of courage and light, while others with every advantage int he world can find it so hard to even smile? Maybe it is because only at our worst we realize what we do have and how empowering it can be. Or maybe it is because when we are stripped of all our material items and connections that we are able to find our true spirit and strength. For me, it is through the love and support of others that I am able to find my own self. However, Pong is able to go through so much more, relying basically on her own strength and some charity from others. Her will is something that is truly remarkable.

To choose happiness, despite it being the obvious choice (like the choice between good and evil) can really be a challenge, especially when you do not feel strong enough to choose what one truly needs. However, Pong, in her state, not only has that ability, she seems to excel at it. There really aren't enough words to describe the intensity and the miraculousness of Pong's situation and fighting spirit. But it is a thrill to watch, and it is inspiring to know that someone in her state can still be so positive and move on with her life. See part 2 and part 3 of her hospital when you click on the embedded links.

Siew Lian's Couch: Everyone Needs Their Couch Comforts

From her video: Siew Lian "One Sunday & My Couch", one is able to see Siew Lian in one of her most vulnerable states. This state is something that we all may have trouble showing to others, but it is an important one nonetheless. The state I am referring to is one of being human. It is a state that we very much like to hide from the rest of society, especially during such a time when the world is becoming more interlinked and the pace of development is growing exponentially. But is a state of being that cannot be forgotten and should be nurtured.

Siew Lian is obviously a filial daughter and a hard worker, but it is also refreshing to see this go getter survivor's softer, more human side. For Siew Lian, one of the items in her life that serves as a holy grail of rest and refreshment is her office's couch. As Siew Lian relaxes on her couch, one can almost see the tension leave her.

It is a refreshing site, in my opinion, due to this habit/action being something that everyone does/needs. For myself, it is hard for me to find this "couch comfort". I live faraway from my family in a country that is definitely not my own. Finding those creature comforts for me can be expensive, hard to find, or down right impossible. But it is through Siew Lian's video that I begin to acquire hope, that even in a difficult graduate program in a country so different from my own, that I too can find those comforts to help me along in my personal journey.

Siew Lian's hard work and dedication is obvious even from a computer screen in China. However, only those who have the capacity for sensitivity, openness, and humor are able to cherish the similarities between one's self and another individual who may appear so different and far away.

A Treat Well Deserved for Someone Deserving

Everyone has had the desire or need to treat themselves every once in a while. Some even more than others. But how many of us get to enjoy a treat that is equal to the work and pain that we truly endure? It appears that Lucy Goh is now one of those people.

Lucy's "Tiger Year" began with the four deaths of her mother in law, her aunt, her mother, and her best friend who also was a model for Salaam Wanita's eco-basket exhibitions. This not to mention that Lucy suffers from Lupus, a debilitating and crippling disease for any single mother. Lucy has also had a near death experience with her disease that was so detrimental that she had lost memories of her family. After this experience she was basically retaught to live her life and identify herself.

Although this simple and short explanation does very little justice to explain Lucy's trials and successes, I am happy to see Lucy go through something as luxurious as a spa treatment. The spa to me is one of the ultimate symbols of luxury and pampering. It is a place that at once rejuvenates, refreshes, and renews the self both spiritually and mentally. It is also a great treat that few can afford regularly. Lucy's spa treatment is certainly a great thing to witness not only because I am personally jealous, but also because it is nice to see luxury go to a person who is not merely financially capable of purchasing such a treat, but instead to someone who has endured a multitude of life's tribulations. So here is to seeing the deserving truly receiving a deserved treat. See Part 2 and Part 3 of her treatment here.

We are family

They say there is safety in numbers and it seems that’s a very true statement.  This sentiment rings especially clear in times of hardship.  When things are tough, it really helps to have someone else around to help pick up the slack, listen to you worry, and pick you up when you fall.  Who better to fill this role than family members?

Jenny and her mother making funeral shoes.

I have noticed people who have a strong support system tend to be happier and healthier than those who don’t.  They are able to come through difficulties more easily than those who are alone, regardless of how dire the circumstances seem.

Jenny Pong comes from a close knit family.  No matter how bad things get, they stick together.  She lives with her family in a modest home in the shadows of the limestone hills. Jenny has the support of her brothers, her niece and her father.  But her greatest ally was her mother, who recently passed away.

Jenny's Mother

When Jenny was in a coma and lost the use of her arms and legs, her mother stayed by her side in the hospital.  She patiently worked with Jenny to help her regain the use of her arms and she bravely fought off those who didn’t believe in her daughter’s chances at survival.

When Jenny’s former father-in-law bought her a coffin, it was her mother who told him to get rid of it and leave the family alone.  She was a strong advocate for family and a valuable resource for Jenny.

Now that her mother has passed away, Jenny is taking a leadership role in the home. She teaches her niece about the value of hard work and a positive attitude.  These are lessons Jenny learned from her childhood, from her mother.  They are lessons that will live on.

A smile that's contagious.

I’ve said it before that Jenny is an inspirational woman.  It makes sense that she would be, she’s continuing  the tradition.

By: Morgan Reed

Living in the Light

Justina was always the one who did the talking.  Lucy Goh remembers her friend fondly.  Both SLE (Lupus) patients, Lucy and Justina became good friends.  Justina was the one who first told Lucy about eHomemakers.  The pair took an eco baskets training course 8 years ago and had been dedicated to the project in various ways ever since.  So when Justina suddenly passed away earlier this year it came as a shock to Lucy.

Lucy at eHomemakers

Having just arrived in Kuala Lumpur in November, I never had the chance to meet Justina, but I've heard lots about her from Ching Ching and Lucy.  It seems Lucy's shy demeanour was in stark contrast to Justina's boisterous personality.  At trade fairs and exhibitions they made quite the team.  Justina would deal with the customers and Lucy would keep track of the inventory and the money.

Now that Justina is gone, Lucy keeps coming to eHomemakers.  With faithful diligence, she comes every week to sort baskets and help out around the office.  She'll even man the table at trade shows, if you ask her really nicely.  She's committed to continuing in the path that she and her dear friend started walking together.

Lucy with Justina's ashes

But they're not done their journey yet.  Justina always wanted to see the world.  When she got really sick, Ching Ching and Lucy promised her that once she was well again, they would see the world.  Sadly, that wasn't meant to be, but that doesn't mean her dream has to die.  With Ching Ching's help, Lucy is going to take Justina where she never had the chance to go.  Her ashes will be spread in various beautiful places around the world. 



A trip has already been planned for Cambodia in January.  It will be a great opportunity, for Lucy, and her dear friend Justina.

By: Morgan Reed

A Helping Heart

Siew Lian’s whole life is about helping others.  I’ve only just met her but this theme is clear to even the casual observer.  With a quiet peace, and kind patience, Siew Lian reaches out to everyone in her world.

Although she tries her best to be self sufficient, Siew Lian’s mother needs help getting around.  The two go to church together every week.   Siew Lian lovingly watches over the tiny woman as she makes her way to and from service and helps her in and out of the car.  The women share laughter and conversation in the car.  Family is a wonderful thing.

Then there are the lupus patients whom Siew Lian dedicates so much of her time to helping.  A patient herself, Siew Lian doesn’t waste time bemoaning her condition but instead uses her experience to help others who are struggling.

She even makes time for a stunned intern from Canada, who’s trying to adjust to a completely foreign environment.  On Sunday Siew Lian brought me to church with her and her mother.  Although the sanctuary was much bigger than I’m used to and I obviously didn’t know anyone there, as I sang along with the group I felt at home. 

Then Siew Lian and her mother took me for not one, but two welcome lunches.  I might get very fat during my time here in Malaysia, but I won’t ever feel unwelcome!

Its women like Siew Lian, and the other members of eHomemakers who make it a priority to reach out, that pave the way for other women like me.  They give us the leadership and inspiration we need to succeed in this life.

The only downside is that sometimes when we are so focused on helping others, we forget to help ourselves.  Self love is sometimes the hardest, but as Whitney Houston once said, "learning to love yourself, is the greatest love of all."

Sorry to quote Whitney Houston, but it is a good song!

By: Morgan Reed

He is going

Gordon from the Crown Plaza Hotel helping my father walked

Besides learning to overcome obstacles like HD camera's availability while developing this project, I also have to watch my 78 year old beloved father deteriorating physically.  Several years of depression has led to Parkinson like syndrome, he is now unable to walk properly. And I know why.
My heart cries at every step he takes when he drags his feet. His cerebellum is unable to tell him to lift them up when he walks.
And he used to walk with dignity.

I am sure deep down in his heart, he feels ashamed of himself. A Tai -chi master who founded the 'Balanced Tai Chi' is now unable to walk properly without help?  My poor father!
He was running faster than me at the park behind my house when he was 70!



My father who didn't say a word all night sang the birthday song to me in English.
Is he conscious about what he is doing? Ah Ba!!!!!!!



The other day when I came home, he was sitting on the lazy chair staring at the ceiling. His sunkun cheeks hollowed out his face, he looked like a skull with two blank eyes. I called out to him, "Ah Ba, I am home."

Silence. He didn't move his head nor his eyes in reponse to my voice. He was oblivious to the surrounding.

He was gone.

As I walked past him, he murmured to himself, "zi hooi ge jiu mo zhe (just die and there will be no problem)."

Anger and deep sorrow filled me as I walked into my bedroom.
Why? God? Why? He was such a good and kind man who helped many. Why does he have to go in this pathetic way?
The room was wraped in silence.
I took a long cold shower.
I said to the bathroom, "Ah Ba, this project I am doing is for you because you believed in me all my life when few people did."

A Foreign Intern's Contribution/一个老外实习者的贡献

I have studied Mandarin Chinese for 5 years. 3 in my home country: the USA, 1 year in China, and 1 year in Chinese Restaurants in the USA as a waitress. And now I am learning Chinese language and how to live my life, as a graduate student in Nanjing, China. My sole link to Malaysia resides in my partner in crime in Beijing, a Malaysian native who is part of a scholarship program that sends students to study Chinese language and culture for 5 years at Beijing Foreign Studies University. Through her I learned that in Malaysia, "Da Bao" is also used to ask for takeout food. But a small advertisement for an internship opportunity on Idealist.org has led me to a truly remarkable organization.

I think that Ehomemakers is remarkable for the obvious reasons: the staff appear to be positive, hardworking, and passionate, the clients'/participants' stories are inspiring, and the mission of the company is more than admirable. But I think what is truly admirable about ehomemakers is how the founder, Chong Sheau Ching, is able to reach out beyond her immediate surroundings to individuals around the world. During my first phone interview with Sheau Ching, I was awed by her stories of interns from the US, the Netherlands, Korea, and more and I thought to myself "Wow, I hope I can make an impact just like they have when I go there."

I've recently had the opportunity (aka time away from reading Chinese academic articles) to watch the story of Pong and to read about Siew Lian and her work with Ehomemakers. Honestly, I pray that I can find and cultivate the strength over 2 years of graduate studies in China that these two seem to exude naturally in their everyday lives. Writing an analysis paper in Chinese is tough and impressive in itself from an American's standpoint, but living life to the fullest on a trolley is a true triumph of human endurance. By learning about these women, I also feel that I am learning more about myself and how to endure tough times and breakthrough life's lofty walls. I am looking forward to reading more about the 5 women of Portraits of Perseverance and sharing my insight and experiences with others throughout the learning process.

Wah, is that Lucy?

I have known Lucy for over eight years because of the Salaam Wanita project for ecobaskets. 

She is unassuming, humble, and never demands anything for herself.  She smiled quietly when Justina ( who was supposed to be in this project but she passed away this January) was getting attention from all of us and often, getting things that Lucy was never given because we all felt sorry for Justina who lived alone. Because of this, Justina was the one given the chance to go to different places to speak and to experience things. We had limited resources, so we had to choose between the two of them even though both are models for our Salaam Wanita project.

Lucy is a strong woman with a quiet determination. She was the pillar behind the scene, supporting her best friend, Justina. She quietly smiled and shook her head whenever Justina was over active in public life. One can miss her presence easily.

Justina's passing has made me realized something all these years I have known her -- Lucy hasn't been given any nice opportunity to enjoy herself and to be free of 'serving others'.

So, for my birthday celebration in July, I specially arranged for Lucy and Swee Lian to experience someting new for them -- facial spa, professional make-up and a Middle Eastern buffet at Crown Plaza in the city center.

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This video shows Lucy receiving the first step of a facial treatment from Genile Beauty in KL

When I watched this video of Lucy lying still on a bed like a mummy -- listening to soft music, and letting someone touched her face without flinching, allowing someone to pamper her --  I could hear Justina laughing, "Ha ha, whoever heard of Lucy getting a facial spa!!!

This video here shows the next few steps of a facial treatment for Lucy's sensitive skin.

I laughed too when I first watched Lucy in 'actions'-- getting toner application, having someone peeling facial masks off her while she passively laid still!!  Lucy is constantly on the move to help, serve others, letting others serve her is unheard of in Lucy's history.

The close-ups of Lucy's face show that she is a beautiful woman.  The picture on her Malaysian identification card is that of a fair skin woman. The Lupus drugs she has to take all these years has darkened and thinned her skin.  She looks like a Malay lady.  But does it matter whether she is dark or fair? She is the same Lucy who gives her time to others selflessly without thinking about money and things for herself.  Watching this video reminds me of a saying, 'Search for a beautiful heart, don't search for a beautiful face. Beautiful things are not always good, but good things are always beautiful.'

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Then we went to Crown Plaza for dinner.

 Kenny showing us the Middle Eastern dips. I was so excited, these dips were part of my life when I was in Egypt! Babaganoush, tahineh, I used to make them in the kitchen! It was Lucy and Swee Lian's first time tasting such dips and the rice dishes.

By 8.30 pm while we were having desert, Lucy's eyes were gettng red. The mascara on her eye lashes was falling off........ The face powder that was applied for her make-over two hours ago had started to dissolved in her sweat. 

"Is it 9 pm yet?  Very itchy-lah, can go wash or not?" Lucy pleaded. She kept fluttering her eye lashes like a very shy Chinese girl. It was so funny that I had a good laugh.  ( I gave her a 9 pm deadline to keep the professional make-up on just for me otherwise she would have washed it a few minutes after the make-up was finished because she claimed it made her whole body 'itchy'!!)

Before she washed her face off all the make-up, I made her take a picture with her beloved daughter. 


                                       This picture is for Justina who couldn't be there.

Justina was very dedicated to the ecobasket project. She paired up with Lucy in exhibitions.
My birthday celebration was also for her as I promised her last year that I would love myself more.
And so I kept my words.








By CSC